Fair Thee Well

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Galatea
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Tue Nov 30, 2004 6:02 pm
Galatea says... · Tue Nov 30, 2004 6:02 pm
Something stirring deep within
Calling forth desire
And I wander away
Following some unknown call
To an unknown land
To an unknown man
And an unknown heart
Somewhere off in the distance
I wandered away so desperate to find
Distant places and newer peoples
Farther from the edge of the cliff
I wasted all my time treading the edge
Looking for a way across the chasm
Turning my eyes
Now checking the horizion for a way up
And beyond
Beyond
Bidding goodbye to the lonely grey stone
I seek the sun
I will fly
I will live forever
Last edited by Galatea on Tue Nov 30, 2004 9:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Sing lustily and with a good courage. Beware of singing as if you were half dead, or half asleep; but lift up your voice with strength.
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Chevy
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Tue Nov 30, 2004 7:37 pm
Chevy says... · Tue Nov 30, 2004 7:37 pm
all was good except for two things:
1. you spelled "desperate" like "deperate"
2. "Or woman" doesn't really have to be there...it takes away from the poem.
Good job anyway.
when there's nowhere to go, it's time to grow up.
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Galatea
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Tue Nov 30, 2004 9:58 pm
Galatea says... · Tue Nov 30, 2004 9:58 pm
Thanks for the advice. Appropriate edits have been made ^_^.
Sing lustily and with a good courage. Beware of singing as if you were half dead, or half asleep; but lift up your voice with strength.
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Elelel
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Wed Dec 01, 2004 5:46 am
Elelel says... · Wed Dec 01, 2004 5:46 am
I liked that! It never... stopped? Don't know how to say it... it flowed nicely the whole thing... I'm not good at poetry. I liked the ending too!
Oh, you're angry! Click your pen.
--Music and Lyrics
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CK Lynn
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Thu Mar 13, 2008 11:40 pm
CK Lynn says... · Thu Mar 13, 2008 11:40 pm
I liked it a lot. Though the line "I wasted all my time treading the edge" somehow doesn't fit with the rest of the piece.
"Just saying none of us want to conquer the world won't stop some other idiot from trying."
~Liberty and Justice, by Paul Dini

www.batmanworldblog.blogspot.com
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