Alright. This is my first work I post here, and I hope it's not all that bad. You could say that this will be a novel, at least I hope it reaches that lenght. It will be too long for a short story anyways. What else to say, I wrote this when I was a bit tired, so it maybe sounds a bit clumsy at places. I most likely will review the whole text after I heard your opinions and optimize it. Enjoy!
Prologue
It was dark. Dark, and cold. And quiet, so deadly quiet. A silent weeping was the only sound to be atoned. It came from a girl cowering in the snow. She was all alone, crying and shivering. She was holding her arms tight around herself, in a desperate attempt to gain warmth, as well as wrapping her white feathered wings around her fragile and naked body. She could not fly away, for her left, and only her left foot was tied to the ground by an iron chain. The metal was as cold as ice. She raised her tear stained face, and looked around. As far as her wet eyes could see, there was only darkness and snow. Only the black sky, only the white fields. In disappointment, she lowered her face again, and began to shiver strongly. Tears fell into the snow, and the winter cried it's icy tears along with her.
Chapter 1
"It won't take long until this world is undone. It seems like humanity has fallen into a shadow for the past ten years, a shadow it won't escape. Where once law and order ruled, you can only find violence and sin today. From the big metropolises to small country villages, nothing is spared by criminality. If this evolution keeps progressing, the future looks really grim. But what use is it? Nobody will listen anyways. Nobody cares for the future, or the good of others. It seems like I am the only person on earth who sees this, but what is the reward for it? Nothing. My father died a few weeks ago, lung cancer. He was smoking all his life, I told him it would be his end someday. He didn't even listen to his own son anymore. Maybe it was because my birth was the reason my mother died. He never really liked me, he always kept distant from me. I never had anyone to talk to, so I talk a lot to myself. I don't have any brother or sister, nor any other relative I knew of. So, now I am sitting here, trying to forget the misery I am forced to see at each new day, by drinking alcohol, and thinking about nothing."
Ash looked around himself, peering at all the people sitting in the bar, talking, laughing, or being silent and listening. They all looked weary and tired. He didn't know anyone in here, but it was best that way. If they knew that he was a policeman, he would maybe not even leave the bar alive. Yes, he led a dangerous life.
Even though it was late, the door opened and someone came into the bar. The bar went quiet for a moment. Ash turned around to inspect the new one. "Surely a strange fellow." he thought. The person had long black hair that reached to his shoulders, and he was carrying a heavy black mantle that swept the floor. The mantle was not closed, and he could see that the stranger was wearing blackened leather pants with a girdle, and boots. His chest was naked, and in fact quite muscled. He had a rather calm expression on his face, no glimpse of any emotion. He entered and went to the counter. Ash could now see that he was followed by an ill-looking young woman. She seemed only barely conscious, maybe she was drugged of sorts. All the time she kept close to the long haired stranger, sometimes hugging his arm, but maybe only to keep balance in order not to fall over. The man ordered a whiskey, and when he was given his drink, he took it, and went with it to a distant table somewhere in a corner. Then he sat down with his female companion, and the rest of the people slowly turned away again and continued their talk. Ash kept an eye on him. He had a talk with the woman that accompanied him, but they talked too silently for him to understand past the noise. The woman however seemed to disagree on their subject, since she often shook her head. This appeared to anger the man a lot, his expression went more grim with each time his patience was tested. When he had finished his glass, he stood up, and turned to leave. But the woman did not. In fact, she seemed like frozen in her current motion. She was not moving an inch. The man left, strangely no one even asked him to pay. The door closed, and Ash looked back at the woman that was with him, and he was shocked; her clothes were drenched by a deep red on her chest and stomach. Moments later, she fell over the table, and remained motionless. Some people immediately went to her to see if she was still alive. But they shook their heads in disappointment, she was clearly dead. "How? How did he kill her? I watched him all the time, he didn't do anything! I have to find him..." Ash left the bar quickly and looked around if the stranger was still there.
He saw the end of the mantle vanishing behind a corner to his right side. He rushed to the side street that the stranger had gone into, and saw him walking down into the sheltering darkness of it. "Hey, you! Wait right there!" The man stopped and turned around, but he didn't say or do anything. Ash went closer, and the sinister person asked "What do you want of me? I've got no time for unimportant things such as you." "What did you do to that woman? Was she drugged? How did she die? Answer me, I'm a policeman and armed!" The stranger sighed patiently and mumbled the term 'pathetic'. "Do you think this world gets any better from finding out what happened? The time you would need to understand would suffice to cause uncountable additional crimes..." Ash knew that he was right, but doing nothing was not an option for him. "The only way for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing! Even if the world has forgotten that, I will not give up as easy. You're arrested!" Ash walked up to the man, in order to give him hand cuffs. "You asked for it..." said the man, and suddenly his left hand filled with fire. Ash stopped and gasped. "What the hell?!" "Hell? That's exactly where you are going to..." The fire in his hand took on a long shape, and then it slowly vanished, leaving a a long sword in the man's hand. "This is sick...!" Ash turned around in attempt to run, but the stranger grabbed his shoulder, and pulled him back. Ash fell and looked with fear up to the enigmatic man. He wasn't sure if it was just a hallucination, but for only a second he thought to have seen two pairs of bat wings on the man's back. Given no time to realize the relentless events, the sword sliced his stomach open, and Ash screamed out in pain. His vision began to blurr, the dark colours of his surroundings began to meld with each other. He started feeling extremely cold, the man walked away, leaving Ash behind, dying. "So.. this is how I die? For defending the law, I get killed by.. whatever sick thing he was...!" Everything was black around him at the point where he nearly passed totally out. But then he saw something else. Something bright. A face. A pretty face of a woman, surrounded by golden shiny hair. She whispered something to him, but he could not understand a word. He started to forget his wounds, as a warm feeling filled him up from inside. But then he faded into a deep slumber, and he fell unconscious.
! Saw this had no crits so I though I'd help out. First I'll do a line before the overall analysis.
And people love harry potter, not 'that story where a kid with a cool scar had to kill the big bad snake guy'. 