Bush Is Gay!

Gadi. · 2007-10-08T23:56:43Z

WASHINGTON D.C. — After decades of incredible instability and unhappiness, George W. Bush finally came out of the closet and declared his true sexuality in a press conference Tuesday morning. “I really am sorry Laura, but it’s the truth,” he announced in front of a thrilled yet shocked audience of at least one thousand spectators, reporters, and illegal immigrants. “I never told anyone, but my job is to tell ya’ll the truth, and here I am doing it.” Bush, our current president, has been essentially known for his lust for oil and conservative stands, so it came as a real shocker to everyone currently living in the United States, from regular, day-to-day, hardworking citizens, to those nasty illegal immigrants, when Bush finally flooded us with his furtive thoughts. When pestered by countless reporters, Laura Bush’s attorney, while on his way to work, announced, “My client is not at all sad. In fact she is very glad to be finally free of him. And any way, it’s none of your beeswax!” This incident, or long-held secret, will cast a dark cloud over the President forevermore. The first president ever to choose banging Brad Pitt over Angelina Jolie, Bush does not feel privileged to be gay. In fact, he is quite frightened of what Dick Cheney will tell him when he returns to work on November 16th, the last scheduled day of his Washington D.C. vacation. However, he will pay one thousand Mexican pesos for any man, except illegal aliens, who would agree to visit him at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Friday at 9:00 p.m. In his shocking announcement, Bush said that he has had over thirty-two sexual encounters with other men and boys over the span of his lifetime. “It was normal in Texas,” he said. “I always saw two men holding hands when I walked to school. Not that big of a deal.” When asked to describe how those sexual activities felt, the President smiled. “Like a nucular explosion!”

Wesley

Gender

Points 890

Reviews 36

Fri Oct 12, 2007 5:11 pm

Wesley says... · Fri Oct 12, 2007 5:11 pm

Mean! .................................................

I didn't enjoy this at all. It is quite course, unrealistic, and just wrong. It is sad really we elected him why do we have beat him up about it. I do not agree with the whole bush bashing thing people make him out to be wrong when he wasn't much better than Bill who did much worse then him and had an affair with his wife who is now the looney running for president. He is human gosh give him a break.

AND DON'T YOU EVER MESS WITH THE GREAT STATE OF TEXAS!!!!! NOBODY MESSES WITH THE LONE STAR NOBODY!!!

Anyway I would like to say "Good Job!" but I simpply can't.

Soo...

Wesley's Score: -1.6 sorry champ

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Aet Lindling

Supporter

Gender

Points 3362

Reviews 225

Sat Oct 13, 2007 2:55 am

Aet Lindling says... · Sat Oct 13, 2007 2:55 am

Err... I just realized, why is this rated R? PG-13 I'd understand. (though frankly I'm hoping for an eventual world where gay relationships are treated in the exact same way "inappropiate" wise as straight marriages...)

man hands on misery to man
it deepens like a coastal shelf
get out as early as you can
and don’t have any kids yourself.

Legacy signature:
dun worry
it's all gun be k

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Gadi.

Gender

Points 1108

Reviews 404

Sat Oct 13, 2007 3:02 am

Gadi. says... · Sat Oct 13, 2007 3:02 am

Hey everyone!

Thanks for all the critiques...

Sorry if this offended any of ya; it is comedy, but I suspect none of you laughed out loud

I just had a fun time poking the idiot, but if you like him no big deal

This IS NOT against gays! Actually, this was to show that even the most Republican monkey can be homosexual. :/

MadHatter, I'd have to disagree too. I mean--a person was born and raised in a certain environment, and in the end turned out he is gay. He can do nothing about it. It's bad to hate "gays" just because they're different!

I really wanted to work on this more, but I haven't got the time... I mean, even as we're speaking I still have two more homework assignments to do, and I don't have ANY time this weekend. (God, I feel so lightheaded now...argh!)

This is rated R because of the following lines:

“Like a nucular explosion!”
over thirty-two sexual encounters with other men and boys over the span of his lifetime.
However, he will pay one thousand Mexican pesos for any man, except illegal aliens, who would agree to visit him at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Friday at 9:00 p.m.
The first president ever to choose banging Brad Pitt over Angelina Jolie, Bush does not feel privileged to be gay.

I am thinking about changing it to PG-13 though... I mean, homosexuality does NOT bother me AT ALL.

winters-- haha! Hilarious. I seriously should write "gahy" for him to say, at least once... I can imagine him tripping over his words...

About the Texas thing:
I've never been to Texas, but I didn't want to make fun of it. I can't make fun of a particular place--I love travel--I just made a joke about gays in Texas because Texas is ultra-conservative and there are no gays from there (almost.) So, sorry if that offended you.

Phindin:
I agree. Bush=ew, but I sort of used all Bush-cliches... so sorry about that. It was just...just a fun piece, I think!

Wesley:
It's good that you express your views on this, but.... well, it's not. Pieces are for you to critique literary, not politically. This is MY view, and if you disagree with it, go to the debate forum. Sorry that I offended you though! (And Bill was much better than Bush, if we already started on that...Bill was amazing, almost. And who cares about other women, he had fun. Haha.) (Plus after all that Bush did? He is not a regular human. He should be tried for genocide. His saying is "Blood for Oil, Blood for Oil".)

Thank you very much again everyone! Hope I made you smile, sorry I made you frown.

my world isn't only beautiful
it is so far away

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