Young Writers Society

Granted, but now you don't have any friends left.

I wish good scholarship essays would write themselves.

Granted, but they become ghosts and make it their job to ruin your life

I wish I was invincible

Granted, but it is only physical invincibility and when your boyfriend dumps you, you die of a broken heart.

I wish that I could breathe in space, underwater, and on Earth.

Granted, you try to breathe on the sun. Doesn't go over very well.

I wish homework didn't exist.

Granted, but then a teacher wishes there was a long lasting supply of homework

I wish my crush would pay attention to me.

Granted, but he just yells at you to leave him alone.

I wish I knew what was going on with my story.

Granted, but you know so much about your story that it fills up your head and your head explodes.

I wish that I knew how to play Go better.

Granted, but you suck completely at the game.

I wish I could figure out what my lover is thinking.

Granted, but you "figuring" out what he's thinking means years of stalking and tracking, which amounts to you getting a restraining order that leaves you devastated. In the end, you commit suicide because he doesn't love you

I wish I had telekinesis

Granted, but then you smash a giant tv into your best friend and they die.

I wish I could write like Meghan Whalen Turner.

Granted, but you write so much like her, that you are accused of plagiarism, and sued for everything you're worth.

I wish I had new headphones.

Granted, but they get stuck in your ears and you are forced to listen to oldies for the rest of your life.

I wish I could eat an infinte amount of candy and never get fat

Granted, but then your teeth rot away completely.

I wish could speak Italian fluently.

Granted, but you say the opposite of what you mean and people hate you

I wish that I had X-Ray eyes

Granted, but then you're forced to live forever in a room full of really fat people.

I wish that i didn't have to go to the bathroom.