Wild Heart

Whoa. This is really vivd. I could imagine that! Well done. lol. I know this was written like 4 months ago but i really had to say something.

I love it. Have you read Julie of the Wolves? I love that book! I hve the treasury set to it!! I've read it like 5 times... i think. :p Oh and what about Call of the Wild? Nice books eh??

I'm trying to write about wolves in a fantasy like way, but im having trouble making them seem wolflike or something... i guess. hehe . any ideas? the story is called Giant Wolves, if you want to check it out. The prologue/beginning is more of a wolf like scene. Cuz the wolves talk.

Anyways back to ur story.

What happend to the caribou btw?

And uh why was she shot? I mean, wudn't the hunter want to kill the caribou instead of the wolves??

Well anyways i would love to read the second part!!

Gd Job!!

chayonz

Thanks for the review! I will go and review your piece as soon as I have time.

The caribou got away, because the pack was distracted as their leader got caught in a trap. (By the way, it seems everyone thinks she was shot. In fact she was caught in a bear-claw trap. Any suggestions on how to make this clearer?)

The hunters would want a wolf because they are very valuable trophies, and he wasn't actually there when it got trapped, so he wouldn't know about the caribou. Make sense?

Thanks fro the review!

Hey Canis! This was pretty good! I didn't notice any spelling or grammar mistakes, and you started your story off well and left the reader wanting to learn more. I really don't have much else to say. o.o

Great job, keep it up, and i can't wait to read more!

-Mays

Thanks!!!!!!!!! If you are interested, the next three bits are also up.

Thanks for posting!

Nice! This moved fairly quick, and you made me feel like I was moving with the caribou and the wolves myself. I think the vocab, thought, was what made this prolgoue (I do agree with Snoink that this would not make a good prologue, however) so interesting.

A part that completely confused me--it was too fast, with no description and I didn't know who was who, what was what--was: "The injured animal was trapped between the lake and the wolves. The caribou hesitated only momentarily, then leaped over the horsetails standing sentinel on the lake shore. The animal’s pumping legs carried her quickly far out into the lake. The wolves gathered by the shore’s edge, and after a series of silent signals from the alpha, half of the pack disappeared into the thick brush."

Separate these two into even more, as Suzanne said. I completely agree.


Anyway, good job. If you need any help, PM me.

Thank you! Any suggestions on how to make that one part a bit slower and easy to understand?


I welcome any comments/and/or suggestions!

Thank you for the review.