School life and its problems.

School life and its problems.

First, I’ve noticed a lot of hatred in school. People hating you because your conceited arrogant, rich, smart, or homosexual. I can understand why people would hate arrogant or conceited people. But don’t go around trying to hurt them like a malicious jerk.

Second, the out of school fights.
I herd of people trying to beat each other up just because; they found the other person as being annoying. But, is that necessary? I don’t think so if you find them annoying you should shun them it’s amusing to do anyway.

Third, people trying to compel me to do something bad.
Some people don’t want to do bad things or get thrown into detention.

Fourth, stupid scams. When I was a freshman, people tried to sell me stupid pool tickets.
I most say that I hate it when people try to make me look like a stupid, gullible, dolt. And, shouldn’t these stupid scams for money be illegal anyway? I think so.

Fifth, why it that the trash never ends up in the trash can when, the trash can is within two feet of you? And, I remember having to pick up trash that other people left behind if you are too lazy to throw trash into a trash can that’s only five feet away from you then that’s depressing.

Sixth, The pushy reporters.
If, someone not going to do something for you the first time you ask them, they’re not going to do it the one millionth, time you ask them either so, stop asking them.

Seventh, stupid, redundant, immure, bantering.
Is bantering really necessary? What are we, five?
Why is it done? Is it just because it’s fun?
Do people even notice that it makes them look pathetic, obnoxious, and stupid all simultaneously?

Eighth, vandalism.
Is vandalism really necessary? Putting paper in the toilets, putting pencils in the roof.
Do people even notice how stupid that is?

Why is it that people can’t come to conclusion about something on their own? Why do they need other people to help them? Are we that gullible? Are we incapable of thinking for are self’s?

A bit better than your usual work, but still lacking in BACKUP!

You can't argue anything on sheer opinion. I could argue how McDonalds, Myspace, Starbucks, and Wal-Mart are going to take over the world and Google will be the mastermind behind the whole thing, but do I have proof for that? Other than the eight Starbucks I saw in Edinburgh, not really (but they are! It's a government conspiracy. Don't let them fool you).

Now, since none of this is solid fact, the answer to bringing in facts is surveys! Survey some students in your school, a nice even number that's easy to convert into percents is a good start. Ask them questions like, "What do you think of the rubbish problem on campus? Have you ever littered on campus? Do you know anyone who has littered on campus? What do you think would be a good solution to the litter problem?" Things like that.

Something can be wrong, but it is possible that no one cares and you're just doing some pretentious complaining.

Also, again with the extraneous commas! Read aloud to yourself and notice where you pause naturally. With all the commas you have here, you sound like a robot. Also, run spell check! People will take you loads more seriously if you spell things correctly.

-St. Razorblade
The Official YWS Pirate

I know ranting is technically non-fiction work, but this type of thing would be more at home in your blog... or in your diary. Not that I find the things you said dumb, or inconsequential. It's just that there's nothing in there that makes it worthwhile, see? If you're going to make a public rant you've got to make it funny. Or, if you want to give it a more serious tone, dig deeper. Give examples of why the things you're ranting about are important. Otherwise, you come off as whiny.

I could rant on and on about how... I hate bees, but nobody cares unless I make it interesting. See?

Seventh, stupid, redundant, immure, bantering.

Yes. We hate that very much.

This is better than your previous work, but it's still not good and you're not putting as much effort into it as you probably should. Start a blog and write down these thoughts as they come into your mind. Right now, you don't need to be critiqued as much as you need to just get used to writing.

*agrees with Snoink, as I find myself so often doing*

If you converted these ideas into "a day in the life of a student" kind of thing, it would be a worthy read. As it is I agree with Icarrus, keep it in the blog.