Somewhere over the rainbow, in a magical land of flying cheeseburgers and talking lampshades, lives a girl named Olivia.
Olivia is a writer, but on this particular day, she has a horrible case of –DUM DUM DUMMMMMM- writer’s block! To those unfamiliar with- DUM DUM DUMMMMMM- writer’s block, it is a most terrible disease, known to be caused by brain failure and sudden barking outbursts from pet dogs and some chickens. This condition will hopefully heal with time, but due to the fact that Olivia has a HUGE English assignment due next Tuesday, the outlook isn’t too good.
Of course, there always is… gulp… the other way.
Hearing the all too familiar voice of the notorious Author, Olivia just has to ask, “the… the other way?”
That’s what I said, isn’t it? Uh… hold on, let me scroll back up and che- yeah. The other way.
“Hmm. I see. Uh, not to be nosy or anything, but… what’s the other way?”
I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you!
“I’m willing to take that risk,” says Olivia.
Really?
“Mhmm.”
Very well then. The other way is a dangerous journey many authors take in order to get rid of writer’s block. None have ever returned! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!
“Oh,” Olivia says.
I wasn’t finished laughing yet! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!
“Done ye-?”
SILENCE, YOU FOOL! I WILL TELL YOU WHEN I’M DONE!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, now I’m done.
“Okay, good. You were starting to give me a migraine,” says Olivia. “Now, about this other way business. How would one go about… say… taking this journey?”
Well, you’d have to go on an all-expenses-paid trip to Hawaii- ALONE! MUAHAHA-
“Hey, buddy?”
Yeah?
“You’re gonna have to quit the maniacal laughter stuff. It’s going to annoy my wonderful readers.”
Oh man. Are you kidding me?
“No. I’m serious. And all this dead conversation- you know this dialogue that just kinda… veers off the subject? It’s gotta go too. It just sort of bores the audience.”
You mean we can’t have meaningless banter anymore?
“I’m afraid not,” says Olivia. “Now back to the story plot. Tell me more about this trip to Hawaii.”
Oh, right. The other way is an all-expenses-paid trip to Hawaii which you must go on ALONE. Think you can handle it, mortal?
“I dunno,” says Olivia. “It sounds kind of risky.”
After a few moments of deep thought, she decides to take on the challenge of the other way.
Excellent choice, Olivia. Your bags are in the taxi which is already right outside the house waiting for you.
“Thank you voice. I’ll be sure to send you a postcard. Don’t miss me too much!” Olivia yells as she scoots out the front door.
A few days later, lying in a hammock in the warm Hawaiian sun, Olivia puts the finishing touches on her English paper, cleverly titled “How I Tricked the Voice of the Notorious Author”.
“This is gonna get me an A+++!” Olivia excitedly says to herself, as she heads back to the hotel to pack her bags.
Later that day, Olivia returns home, safe and sound. “Well Author, I made it home alive. Guess I’m a little tougher than most writers!” she beams, setting a suitcase down on her bed.
Guess again, Olivia!
And that’s when the voice of The Author kills off one of her characters.
Fin.
a good amusing read. Thank you! *wanders off giggling*
