This is so Gay

I found this amusing, tell me what you think.

This is so Gay

"Oh, man," said Bill as him and his friend, Benjamin, worked atop the construction site. "This is so gay."

"Why do you have to say that?" said Benjamin, "I mean, isn't that a little derogatory." Benjamin was really worried Bill was a homophobe. Years of friendship could be displaced in a moment if that were the case. You, see, Benjamin was homosexual. And not the kind of homosexual to be taken lightly. Let us just say: Benjamin was not submissive.

"Why?" asked his friend.

"Well, you know..."

"Know what?" his thick-headed friend again inquired.

"You know... I'm... well... gay."

"Oh," said his friend in an exasperated manner, "I don't mean anything by that." He laughed a bit. "I only use the word 'gay' to mean shitty."

That makes it all better, Benjamin thought.

"Yes," said Benjamin, "quite."

They went back to work. Interrupting the rhythmic hammering, Bill exclaimed.

"Oh, bloody bugger!"

Benjamin sighed, "Why did you say that?"

"Say what?" asked Bill.

"Bugger," Benjamin intoned nasally.

"Oh, don't worry, I just meant that the nail was an ass."

That's just great, thought Benjamin.

"Yes," Benjamin said, "quite."

They went back to work. Once again, the rhythmic hammering was interrupted by John, a friend of Bill and Benjamin's.

"Hey, faggot!" Bill called out to his friend. John waved back, a confused look on his face.

Benjamin was fed up. "Now why did you say that?" shouted Benjamin.

"Benjamin, Benjamin, I didn't mean anything by it. It is just a way for me to call him stupid and dull... really, nothing meant by it."

"Now I don't believe you," said Benjamin.

"Why?" asked Bill, "I didn't mean anything."

"Yes you did."

"Okay, then," said Bill, "what did I mean by it."

"You think I'm shitty, an ass, stupid, and dull!"

"I do not," said Bill.

"Yes, you do," said Benjamin, "that's why you say all those things. To let me know that you have something against gays."

"Wait, wait, wait," said Bill. "You think that I, Mr. Tolerance, is a homophobe?"

"I just saw you call John a faggot," said Benjamin.

"All right, I'll admit that," said Bill, "but I am not a homophobe."

Benjamin thought that maybe he was right. "Okay," said Benjamin, "I believe you. But can you keep the 'gay' slang down to a minimum."

"Surely, old thing. Surely."

They went back to work. Riley, their foreman, was walking up the paved path to the site.

"Hey, Riley," Bill said, "you take it up the ass!"

"Mother Fuc..."

OK, firstly, did you write this? The introductory sentence suggests otherwise.

This was quite repetitive, after "bugger", you have kind of got the idea already. It hammers home the point too much, the repetition made it boring. However, it irritates me when people use a slang word for homosexual to represent something gross/bad/wrong/annoying because it's prejudice: direct association of gay people with something bad; so I can relate partly. Even so, it's very overdone. Granted, I did chuckle, and it is lighthearted but it's not exactly great stuff.

It looks like this is a joke that was lengthened into a full short story. Unfortunately, I don't think you have transcribed it properly. For example, when you tell the joke, you have your voice to make inflections and that makes it funnier, but in the written form, you need to put these voice inflections in paper.

First off, don't tell the reader everything. You don't need to tell the reader that, "Benjamin was really worried Bill was a homophobe. Years of friendship could be displaced in a moment if that were the case. You, see, Benjamin was homosexual. And not the kind of homosexual to be taken lightly. Let us just say: Benjamin was not submissive." Instead of saying all that, just delete that and let the Benjamin say that he's gay. It makes it pithier and thus funnier.

And remember! Rate your work next time so that people know beforehand that it has cussing!

Good luck!