All We Need Is A Plan- Part 1

Insomnia · 2007-04-19T11:40:14Z

This is one of the stories from my correspondance. It's pretty rough right now, but just bear with me. ;) Hera stormed about her chambers, breathing heavily, hair in disarray, seething with the rage of a woman scorned. "Am I not a satisfying wife?" she shrieked, seizing the nearest object. "Do I not make him happy?" The priceless vase, a gift from Zeus, flew through the air to smah into the wall and shatter into countless pieces. The satisfaction she took from the destruction slowly faded, replaced with a feeling of foreboding. A sob escaped her lips, and she reluctantly turned her red-rimmed eyes to the mirror. She hated the woman that stared back at her: dishevelled, sniffing, with tears ru nning down her face, and the eyes for which she was renowned swollen.It was no wonder he always strayed from her. She turned glumly away, crawling onto her vast bed, alone once again, drawing her knees to her chin and sniffing wretchedly. Yet another woman was to bear her husband a child. Yet another woman had drawn his cursed desires, despite her own, vastly superior beauty. She sniffed, and hiccupped, letting self-pity take over; it wasn’t as though she had ever done anything wrong. She’d never been anything but loyal to him, and she was so much more desirable than any… mortal… woman. Mortal. The thought made her clench her fingers into the material beneath her, rage once again replacing self-pity. “Mortal!” she screamed into the air, throwing her head back. “Mortal! I’ll punish you until the ends of eternity, I swear it! I’ll torment you until you beg for Hades! I’ll- I’ll destroy your beauty- I’ll- I’ll-” She burst into renewed tears. Nothing worked. No matter what she did to them, nothing ever worked. He always found another, and another, and another, even until she could no longer exact sadistic pleasure in their punishments.Why? Did he not see what terrible things she did to them? Did he not care? Did he not- She stopped, slowly lifting her head. Did he not care? She thought about that, the tears gradually ceasing their flow down her face, and her soft lips parted as she realized- he only cares about the thrill of it. He doesn’t care about those women any more than he cares about his marriage oath of fidelity. Revenge, though she greatly desired it, was pointless.She lowered her head to her knees, mulling over her thoughts for a long time, eyes blazing sightlessly fit to scorch a hole through the bed below. There was only way to end Zeus’s womanizing ways, and that was to exact her revenge from him… not his erstwhile lovers. Several days later Zeus roamed the Earth in human guise, keeping away from civilisation. He always had, since Prometheus had given the man fire. They had become lords in their own minds, and Zeus was infuriated the human race's arrogance. Lost in his thoughts, the god was startled by the rustle of footsteps in the undergrowth. Zeus saw the form of a human coming towards him, and turned to leave. But he stopped in his tracks when he saw a scantily clad nymph emerge from the foliage. He took in her beauty; her curvaceous form, her almond skin, her soft lips, and struggled not to grab her there and then. Seeming surprised to be in front of him, she gasped and gazed, trancelike, into the god's eyes. "Greetings, my Lord," she said in a melodious voice, which quavered slightly. "For what purpose do you grace the land with your presence?" He smiled warmly at her and said: "I seek some peace and quiet. It has been difficult to find it on Olympus lately." He sighed tiredly."Dionysus has been having another of his "parties"." He rubbed his eyes and looked her up and down, his eyes lingering before they returned to her face. "You wouldn't happen to know a place where I mgiht find that peace and quiet? Perhaps you could accompany me there." He paused. "I'm sorry, but I cannot recall your name...?" She grinned and licked her lips salaciously, and for a moment Zeus recoiled, seeing something unpleasant lurking beyond the woman's deceptive beauty.. But he was quickly reassured by her dazzling smile. "I didn't give it," she said, and winked. "But since you ask so nicely, it's Kako." She cocked her head slightly, as if mocking him. "But what could I have done to deserve attention from you, the greatest of gods?" Zeus grinned at her, his pulse racing. "Surely you know? You are the most beautiful woman I have encountered on this planet!" She smiled, and after the briefest of hesitations, in which she eyed him measuringly, beckoned him to follow after her. Zeus followed after her, enjoying the view as she moved gracefully through the foliage. And unbeknownst to him, Kako licked her lips once more and restrained a triumphant laugh. Months later, once more bored by his wife's icy attitude, Zeus went off in search of Kako. He didn't want to seem over-zealous, so he loitered in the area close where Kako had first appeared to protect his pride. After a time, he became tired of waiting, and started towards the cave. He moved slowly, his pride still straining to keep him away. As he drew closer, he could hear low moans coming from within it. He stopped dead. It couldn't be... He abandoned all dignity and ran straight through the mouth of the cave. When he reached her, his tenseness left him. He saw only Kako lying on the bed, her moans growing steadily louder. He knelt by her side, observing the swollen curve of her stomach. He took her hand, and felt it clench with a strength he had never felt from a nymph. The nymph drew herself up on her elbows, gasping in pain as she did so. Then she saw who it was, and she grinned savagely. "Greetings, oh great Zeus," she rasped. Have you come to see your children? Stay awhile. Maybe you shall." Zeus frowned at the sound of her voice. "Is something wrong, Kako?" She took a long time to answer, and Zeus was concerned. What if there is something wrong with the birth? he dismissed the thought. Surely a midwife would be aiding her if that was so. The nymph chuckled, a sound which made Zeus shudder. 'What is wrong, you ask me? You could say that you, Zeus, placing me, a demoness, over your wife could be a problem!" Zeus recoiled. "A d - demoness?" She smiled. "Yes, and by the plotting of your very own wife. Personally, I find that the worst part." "Hera? What does she have to do with this?" "Everything, Zeus, everything." Her smile was triumphant. "You see, your wife came to me with tales of your infedelity. She hoped that I might pose as a nymph, and that the resulting children would be so hideous that you would be scared away form other woman, forever. Of course, she didn't quite guess my agenda. Such naivety does warm the heart, does it not?" A thought came to Zeus, but he covered the grin that was emerging with a grim frown. He chose his words carefully. "Very well. I resign myself, and the humans, to this fate." Kako opened her mouth in mock surprise. "That easily? No fight from the mighty Zeus? Zeus ignored her remarks, and walked from the cave. He turned after walking a few metres. "I agree," he boomed, raising a hand towards the sky. "A woman's naivety does indeed warm the heart." A lightning bolt hurtled from his outstretched hand, and through the cave mouth, with a crackle of energy. Kako's dying scream could be heard under it, and it continued to echo within the cave for a long time after.. Zeus smiled; waiting. He knew the furnishings would go up in flames in seconds, and sure enough, it was not long before smoke began to pour from the mouth of the cave. He shook his head. Foolish woman, he thought, and made to turn away when he saw a shadow silhouetted in the smoke. His smile faded as he saw emerge from the cave, a creature that he knew was his own offspring. Zeus gasped and brought another bolt to hand, and hurled it at the creature. To his relief, it fell to the ground and went still. But after a long silence, it moved, and Zeus’s stomach became a pit of icy dread as it picked itself back up again and shook itself out, unharmed. "Hera," he growled. She was the cause of all of this. A momentary concentration took him to Hera's chambers. He saw her asleep on the bed, and a wave of anger raged through him. He grabbed her shoulders and shook her wildly. She awoke with a small scream and shook him off, before crying, "Zeus? What?" He glared at her, grabbed her arm and took her back to the cave. She broke away from him and backed away. There were now three creatures roaming the area around the cave, and in the cave, Zeus could see the shadow of another beginning to emerge. He turned to her, and said, "Well? Are you happy now? You've unleashed invincible demons upon the world. Even my thunderbolts can't hurt them." To demonstrate his point, he threw one at the nearest creature. It looked over, and a throaty noise came from its throat. Zeus and Hera recognised it as a laugh, and shuddered simultaneously. Hera moaned, realising what she had done. "But I only meant to teach you a lesson." She looked back to the cave mouth, where the creatures were now emerging faster and faster. Zeus slapped her, and she made no move to defend herself. "Do you even realise what you've done, you idiot! Look at them!" He pointed at the creatures one at a time, reciting their names by instinct as they came to his mind "Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy and Pride." Hera frowned. "If they're the first seven, then who is that woman in the dress coming out?" Zeus looked alarmed. "That, Hera, is something I didn't expect to come into play for centuries. That, is Politics." "It couldn't be as serious as you're saying. These creatures may be annoyances, but nothing more to a great god like you!" He snarled. "You fool! These creatures are immortal, the spawn of a demoness and a god. They are endowed with mighty forces that could bring civilisation to it's knees, as you are now. With your vicious plot, you have almost certainly doomed humanity to the worst parts of Hades!" He glared at her. "Leave me. I cannot stand to look at your face." And so she stood, biting her lip until blood flowed, trying to hold back the tears, and failing. Sobs wracking her suddenly frail body, and Zeus looked at her despairingly. He could still see the angry red marks on her cheek where he had hit her, and as she walked away, pain tore at Zeus's heart. She did not move to avoid the flames, which had spread from the cave and ignited the grass. She could only walk through them, looking back only once, her tear stained face immuminated by the flames. When she was gone, Zeus bowed his head, and departed to Olympus, with one last glance at the sins below.

sworddance

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Sun May 13, 2007 12:29 am

sworddance says... · Sun May 13, 2007 12:29 am

Ah man, conflicting messages! Don't tell me he set a word limit or anything?!
Those are the bane of my existence.
And no worries on the furnishing thing, just work it in neatly somewhere less obtrusive. I had a suspicion that was the issue there.

I'm on to the second one now; shouldn't be too long before I get that up (speaking here in relative terms).
bei'theh!

~sworddance

Drummer, beat, and dancer, fly
The floods of war are crashing nigh
Raise the mountain, blade the fire
And woe to they who voked your ire…
-----People do speak in semicolons; they just don't know it.------

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Insomnia

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Sun May 13, 2007 12:40 am

Insomnia says... · Sun May 13, 2007 12:40 am

He didn't set a word limit, but he thinks I'm a bit long winded lol! It's a correspondance thing, so he's just tryign to help. xD And I cannot stand word limits. I'm always like 500 words over (Even in my story that was supposed to be 500 words!).

And I don't think I can say Thanks anymore before it starts getting repititive. Is there a way to say it in your bei'theh language lol? That could work.

And I'll get onto putting your changes in soon. Wouldn't want to waste your whole weekend for nothing!

-Mat

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Insomnia

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Points 2816

Reviews 252

Sun May 27, 2007 9:43 am

Insomnia says... · Sun May 27, 2007 9:43 am

Okay, so this is the totally revamped version of the myth. The credit has to go to sworddance. She worked tirelessly, I'm sure, to help me get this. The result should be quite a bit better than it used to be. So, thanks to you, sworddance.

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sworddance

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Points 890

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Sun May 27, 2007 10:35 am

sworddance says... · Sun May 27, 2007 10:35 am

O.O
glad to see I was useful *blush*
I just read over the revised, and I love it. Really well done, and I can tell you thought out and used a lot of the stuff that all of us had given you- and to good result!
Oh, heh- and in answer to the question in the previous post, "thank you" is "kvesh'alor", or, informally, "kvesh."
And, for the crits, "shisduhar"- you're welcome!. (of course!)

bei'theh!

Drummer, beat, and dancer, fly
The floods of war are crashing nigh
Raise the mountain, blade the fire
And woe to they who voked your ire…
-----People do speak in semicolons; they just don't know it.------

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ella jade

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Points 890

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Mon May 28, 2007 1:57 am

ella jade says... · Mon May 28, 2007 1:57 am

I think that this story is good, but has the potential to be awesome.
As long as you follow the advice that most of the others said you should
do great things with this story. I agree w/ you on leaving the creatures
image up to the reader. Everyone has an idea of what their demons look
like and when the writer describes it the reader does'nt ...what's the word?
...relate?maybe, to the story as they would picturing their own image. The
one thing that stood out was the grammer mistakes, but thats an easy fix
that you can spot if you read over it.
well that about covers it. keep it up & would like to read more.
_E.J.

love ya mean it!
E.J.
~ the world will tell you who you are...
until you tell the world different.
so what are you waiting for?~

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