Defeating Galbatorix with help from a Galaxy far far away

Sorry........................................it's still squashed up in some places, and you're missing some quotation marks, and there's some grammer mistakes as well. Sorry, but proof read this at least twice.

-Twit

“I’m Tahiri Veila Solo and these kind people are Jaina Solo Durron, Kyp Durron, and my husband, Anakin Solo,”

“Welcome, Nasuada is expecting you.”
Entering a tent, a dark skinned woman smiles and says” Thank You, Arya”.
“Hello, I’m Nasuada, leader of the Varden.”

“Hello I’m, Kyp Durron and this is my wife Jaina Solo Durron.”

“Welcome, Kyp and Jaina.”

“Hello, I’m Anakin Solo, Jaina’s brother, and this is my wife, Tahiri Veila Solo.”

“Welcome, Anakin and Tahiri.”
“Thank you, Milady, and please excuse my husband’s manners he hasn’t met royalty before.” “Tahiri, I’m related to royalty remember?”
“You sure didn’t show it, Anakin.” “Anakin, Tahiri, stop it or I’ll tell Jacen that you guys want baby-sit Allana for a month.” “Jaina, you wouldn’t dare?” “Would I, after all I married a Rogue.” “Fine you won for now, Jaina.”

“Might I ask what are you doing here?”

“We were traveling through hyperspace when we were sucked in to a black hole, I think.”

“Interesting, Kyp.”

“Well actually our family was going to visit a planet called Zonoma Sekot, and Kyp and I were going on our wedding trip.”

“ As were Anakin and I.”

“Well I hope you’ll stay and help us defeat Galbatorix.”

“We’ll talk to Leia and Master Skywalker about it.”

”Thank you, Jaina .”

“ Saphira, go easy on them.”
“Sure, Eragon.”

“There’s Orrin waiting for us.”
“Orrin?”
“King of Surda, Jacen.”

“Eragon, when we get back will you tell me all about Saphira?’
“Sure, Jacen.”
“Thanks, Eragon.”
“No problem, Jacen.”

Setting down, Eragon tries to help Mara, Leia and Jacen off Saphira they shrug off his help and jump lightly to the ground.

“Hello ,Eragon.”

Greetings, Orrin.”

“Who are these people?"

"I am Master Mara Jade Skywalker."

“Welcome, Mara.”

“I’m Jedi Knight Leia Organa Solo.”

“Welcome, Leia.”

“I’m Jedi knight, Prince consort, Jacen Solo of Hapes.”

“Welcome to Surda, Jacen.”

“What are your motives , Ambassadors?’

“To greet you and say we come in peace.”

So it's. . . . .Not satirical?

I think you're taking the subject matter too seriously. Eragon meets Star Wars...it just can't be serious. Most of the cross-overs like this that I've read treat the whole thing as a joke, and it works.

There's too much dialogue, and it doesn't read quite right; you've put spaces in some of the wrong places; and your characters repeat themselves too much.

I don't mean to be discouraging. I liked the bit about the baby-sitting, though.

-Twit

It's just a fun fanfic piece and I right whenver I can so ......
By the way Anakin will get back Jaina eventually.
Lanna

Well, as long as you enjoy writing it, that's all the matters. I haven't looked through this in any detail, but a couple of pointers: I don't know whether you're typing so fast you miss them, but some of your commas are in the wrong places. Just go back and check them, to make sure they come immediately after the previous word, instead of immediately before the next. Also, try including some description, as it would help progress the the story along.

Hope that helped,

-Kaz

Hey!

I'm a big fan of Eragon and Star Wars to. I'm nowhere near eighty-seven books, but I appreciate the fact that you know all those characters and are not making them up. I know almost all of them.

The introductions do get a bit long, but I'm not sure how else you could do it otherwise.

And I'm just going to forget the realistic part. I mean, both the stories aren't realistic anyway, so how can something be realistic when it's based on something not realistsic?

Anyways, good Fanfiction! It has lots of names to show you know what you're talking about.

Thank you.

Alanna

hey Lanna!

Well..someone of the others up there nailed it..and some are completely clueless...
Anyways, this was really funny!
I like it!

But sorry it's Zekk! Jaina and Zekk!



~Timea

O-Kay Jaina and Zekk.