As I said before, the flashbacks are working brilliantly. I'm just loving the way you have some narrative, then a recollection of the past to add along the character development. I can see your writing already improving drastically and I am running out of things to say.
What I have already mentioned, I believe still applies but this time my main concern is the emotive language--it is lacking. Just think about it. You are Lyla, you are sitting in the Doctors' surgery twiddling your thumbs, nervous, how does it feel? When you here your name called out do you cringe and gulp?
The descriptions are vastly improving but I am still left uneasy about the cardboard tendencies, as previously described. There are a few awkward sentences here and there, but just a quick reread will sort those out.
However, essentially they are more-or-less irrelevant to the plot. The idea of teen pregnancy is, let's face it, not particularly rare, so I am hoping you will shed a different light on it. Above all, be sure not to ruin the characters you have going with clichéd plot devices. I am enjoying this so far--I look forward to the next part.
