This is part 4. Crit is loved!!!!
The bell at the end of the day couldn’t have been more welcome. Sarah and I pushed our way through the crowed corridor to leave the school building. I sighed heavily and watched two year sevens race each other to the gate. The blossom filled trees beyond the wrought iron blew in the fierce wind. The sky had gone a dusty grey colour, it was going to rain. The sooner I got home the better; I didn’t have an umbrella on me.
“Don’t look now,” Sarah began, “but Tom is walking towards us from the gate.”
I shook my head. “I’m not going to talk to him. I already made it clear that I didn’t want to know.” Sarah nodded and tied her hair back, ready for battle. Confidently, we walked straight past him. He followed us and caught up next to Sarah. I saw him go to open his mouth but Sarah cut him off.
“Look, Tom,” she said stopping and putting a hand on his arm, “she won’t listen, give her some room, ok?”
Tom looked at me, his expression hurt; making me feel about six inches tall and full of guilt.
“Fine,” he croaked and walked briskly off. I felt like I had just snatched a toy off a child. But it wasn’t my fault; he knew I didn’t want to talk, so it would be easier if he just left me alone. Anyway, it was mum who was looking after me now, I didn’t need him. That made me think of mum, I had been so horrid to her.
“Right Sarah,” I said sternly as we walked up the road, “I’m definitely going to the Doctor’s appointment today.”
She turned to smile at me. “That’s great! But have you decided……about …..well…you know…”
I turned to her, bewildered. She looked unsure. “What you’re going to do about the baby.”
I had no idea, I had no answer. Of course I had thought about it, never a moment went by when I wasn’t thinking about something to do with the baby. It was such a hard thing to decide, after all it was a little life I was playing with.
“I don’t know. There is soo much to think about. Abortion, having it, adoption...” I trailed off, helplessly.
“Lyla, please tell me you know how you feel about the baby. I mean if you abort…” she sighed, “frankly I think you’ll regret it. Think about the beautiful baby.” Sarah suddenly seemed excited. “This baby will be really good looking. I mean, with your looks and Tom’s eyes, it’ll break a few people’s hearts.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. Lifting my hand, I caught a glimpse of my watch. It was nearly four thirty, my appointment was in half an hour and I wasn’t even home yet.
“Sorry, Sarah, but I have to hurry if I’m gonna make that doctors appointment,” I said. “I’m going to take the short cut through Evesham Avenue, ok?”
“Sure.”
“Bye then.”
“Lyla, wait!” Sarah called out. She hugged me sorrowfully, as though she may never see me again. I must have had a puzzled look on my face as she said, “What? Get a move on then!” I smiled to myself and power walked down the turning.
Rushing through the front door a small wave of heat hit my face. I shivered in my flimsy dress as Tom closed the door.
“Bloody hell, it’s freezing tonight,” remarked Tom, taking his coat off of me and hanging it on his homemade peg. Each member of the family had made a peg with their name on it six years ago, to brighten up the hallway, and Tom being only nine at the time, his was the most…imaginative.
“Tom what time is it?” I asked, walking into the living room and reaching up for the light switch. I felt him grab my hand and kiss the back of my neck in the darkness.
“Quarter past ten,” he whispered and the lights came on, dazzling me.
I sat down on the worn leather sofa, unsure of why my heart was so fluttery.
“What was that for?” I asked.
“What was what for?” Tom obviously forgot his actions very quickly.
“That kiss…” I shuddered.
“Just because. Look at you! You’re cold; let me get you something to put on before you turn to ice.” Tom turned to leave the room. Acting on impulse, and looking back now, stupidity, I followed him out the room and up the stairs. Once he reached the top he turned and looked at me inquisitively. Feeling the need to say something I threw out the first thing that came to mind. “I am your spaniel!”
Tom laughed heartily and spun his finger next to his head, indicating that I was crazy.
“Aren’t you a bit young to be quoting Shakespeare?” he said exasperatedly.
“Aren’t you a bit young to recognise it as Shakespeare?” I whipped back.
He laughed again and it echoed through the silent house. Taking me by the hand he led me into his bedroom. I sat on his bed and looked around whilst he shuffled about in his wardrobe. The room was familiar, except that today it was even more messy than usual; he had evidently gotten ready in a rush. It was a large room, with cream walls and a double bed pushed up against the wall opposite the door. It used to be Tom’s sister Tina’s bedroom until three years ago when she moved out to university. It was a lot bigger than Tom’s old box room at the back of the house that was serving as a temporary study.
“What do you want to wear? A jumper or a top? Or something of Tina’s?” Tom asked, his back to me still.
I walked over to him and slipped my hand around his waist, nuzzling into him, hugging him.
“Hey,” said Tom softly, turning me so that we were hugging properly. He leant down and brushed his lips gently against mine, I felt my body melt and I pushed closer against him. I looked deeply into his eyes and he held my gaze with a serious expression, one I had not seen many times before. We began to kiss, a long passionate kiss, his hands in my hair then slowly snaking their way down my sides, his fingers momentarily lingering on my dress zip. I held his hand there and pushed his fingers onto the zip even harder, letting him, encouraging him to open it.
I had the magazine OK! on my lap but I wasn’t really reading it. It was open on a page entitled ‘My husband cheated on me with our babysitter’. Mum was sat next to me, staring more or less straight at the clock above the receptionists head, that ticked away seemingly unaware of the required silence in a doctors surgery. There were two other patients waiting with us, an old man cradling his walking stick and a very pale young woman.
Bored of waiting, I began to drift into a daydream that involved me curling up on my bed with a book and a Mars bar.
“Lyla Papa.”
I started and stared at the grey haired woman behind the desk. Mum was already on her feet and waiting for me to get up. I closed the magazine and followed mum down the dingy little corridor and through a wooden door.
The familiar face of Doctor Shah smiled at me as we walked in. She stood up and shook mum’s hand. Sitting down she adjusted her glasses and turned to face me.
“So what’s the problem Miss Papa?” Dr Shah asked.
Mum looked over at me from her seat next to me. She knew what she had to do.
“I’ll wait outside for you,” mum said then turned to the doctor, “if that’s ok?”
Dr Shah nodded.
As the door closed behind my mother I blurted out, “I’m pregnant. I skipped a period so I took a test and it was positive, that was a month ago.” My hands were sweating on my lap and I wiped them on my jeans.
“Have you double checked that you are pregnant? Sometimes it’s a false alarm,” Dr Shah asked.
“No but I was due for my period on Saturday and there’s no sign of it. My stomach is slightly swollen too. I’ve even had nausea today for the first time.”
Dr Shah scribbled something down on a pad in front of her. I wished I could see what it said. She seemed to be thinking deeply so I looked out the window to the right of her, to stop myself from staring at her. A crow sat on the branch of a bare tree, snapping its head in different directions every time it heard a noise.
“Miss Papa, how old are you?”
“Sixteen,” I replied quietly.
“Although it is not against the law for you to be having sexual intercourse, it is still dangerous to be having unprotected-”
“We were protected,” I cut in.
Dr Shah nodded and began to type on her computer whilst she talked to me. Her tone was flat and she spoke fast and confidently as though she had memorised it from a textbook.
“I will take a blood test and urine sample today, to check that everything is fine with you and the baby. Then you will get the results and a hospital appointment through the post in a few weeks time.” Pausing to receive two labels from the printer and stick them onto glass bottles, she smiled. In a more friendly tone she continued. “When you have the first ultrasound it will be the most magical moment of your life.”
I felt myself relax.
Ten minutes later, I emerged from the Doctors room feeling sure of myself and slightly more content, despite the blood test. Mum stood up and watched me, unsure. I took her hand, smiled encouragingly and we left.
