This is one of my favourite (rhyming) poem's I've written and I'd appreciate any hints on how to improve it. Its still in raw, just-as-it-was-written form, so I know there has to be something I can polish...please let me know what you think.
Summer Wine
The tang of morning on my tongue;
A sweet bouquet of paradise -
The shadows ebb before the sun
The sky has turned to cobalt ice.
Across the water, light comes dancing
Caught on rising waves of blue,
The brilliant green of grass - entrancing
A world alight, refreshed and new.
The hint of flowers in the air,
The cream, the pink-red strawberries;
The sound of "Greensleeves" drifting there
above the hum of honey bees.
The world has stopped, half closed its eyes
A moment, bottled, caught in time
All this, I taste, and more besides
As I drink deep of summer wine.
I agree, can't find anything worth changing! It is really nice in winter here, as it reminds us of summer.
