How To Fend Off Angry Mobs Consisting of Your Own Characters

Sam · 2007-02-11T06:12:45Z

RAMBLE NO.1: These seemed far too tantalizing to pass up...sort of like Pringles, but without the partially hydrogenated soybean oil (or something such; whatever they are made of is far too good to be organic). Anyway! In the tradition of all good novel rants, my current attempts: GREEN: [being edited] A sort of satirical sci-fi in which a model, named Andromeda, and a scientific experiment with a half-human, half-computer brain named Ferdinand pretty much save the world from oppression. And...oh, yeah, there's Bellamy, the psychic. Basically, they overthrow the president of the world in the process of trying to prove Andromeda innocent in the murder case of her adoptive father...which suspiciously happened after Andromeda snogged the Vice President (who is quite a bit younger than McLachlan, who is a hundred and forty, thank you very much) and after she poisoned Ferdinand and they hitchhiked from Baghdad to Vladivostok... Can't you tell it was a NaNo? HOURGLASS: [writing stage] There are several storylines, each held together by the fact that they are stories being told to the subversive school mathematics teacher in order to prove themselves innocent in the case of the murder of Adelais Fonbleu (whose parents are actually German, but adopted the French language and culture in order to appear trendy and rich). Gah, I have a thing for murder cases, don't I? I've got quite the macabre streak... Anyway, as far as storylines go, there is: DAVID: who's a bit of a space case after living with his extremist Puritan mother bent on destroying his self esteem and being kidnapped by his father, a fashionable (albeit crude) lawyer in Boston- also a Jew, because anti-Semitism is kind of big in the 18th century- who married a seventeen-year-old girl named Sonya, who is, dare I say, a bit sex-obsessed. She has a thing for Davy, which cannot be good for his mental health. ...poor kid. UPTON: was the product of Liberty's older sister (Liberty is another character; she's pretty cool but she needs major developing) and an Indian man captured by the British army in Bombay. Upton was sent back to Virginia (also known as the United States, but just to stick it to the man I changed it) to live with Mr. Barclett, an accountant also near Boston, and develops obsessive-compulsive disorder after being trapped under a crashed carriage in the forest for three days. JEREMY: joins the British army after going through a period of teenage angst over his brother [Luke] and father (British immigrants don't have such a great time in Virginia), and since he's technically too young to join- and the Crown is desperate for new recruits- he's placed on a so called 'Death Brigade' (average life expectancy: three weeks) that pretty much controls angry pioneer farmers and anti-Crown mobs in big cities. And then he finds out that his commander is actually a woman, and this is bad. Baaad. Lots of good conflict, nonetheless. :wink: LUKE: has a story line far too complicated to comprehend without prescription medication, so here it is watered down: 1. Set of twins born in England to hormonally-overrun slum boy and exiled princess. One named heir to the throne of Britannia [name also changed to stick it to the man]. 2. Heir smuggled into Virginia. Heir kinapped, tortured, and imprisoned on an island in Long Island Sound. 3. Heir breaks free and breaks into gargantuan bank account with help of rogue banker Barclett. Heir attends school for incredibly rich. 4. Heir chased by assassins out of the country. Is put on the List through several convenient deaths. 5. Heir marries hot Spanish princess and finds himself with no friends. ...this is where the outlining gets a bit weak. :P THE FOURTEEN SINS OF CLEMENTINE MALLOY: [outline and prologue writing] Clementine Malloy is a bit of a ditz. She's the gorgeous heiress to 'Malloy's Delectible Fourteen Scents', a successful soap company in Chicago- so basically, she is Paris Hilton in a crinoline. But ah! Adversity strikes, by way of a chlichèd Latvian curse, and she finds herself abducted by a street gang of guys named the Vices- that means that they all have symbolic-ish names like 'Hypocrisy' and 'Filth'. She has to restore these guys to their normal selves and make up for her...er...Fourteen Sins, so basically it is 'A Christmas Carol' on steroids. ---- And so ends my first Rambling. Hope you enjoyed your stay- don't remember to clean up after yourself. (That didn't make any sense, did it? Good.)

Emerson

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Mon Jan 14, 2008 12:53 am

Emerson says... · Mon Jan 14, 2008 12:53 am

Oh, I love Karl! (I'm going to spell his name Germanically [not a word] from now on just to bother you.)

And like I said, you should go back to the short you wrote with Sukie, which you did... There, Sukie was lively. ^_^ You can do it. You just hate female characters 'sall. It'll work out.

And I greedily look forward to any writing you throw at me. You know I like to eat your words like sprinkles on cupcakes, or some other strange sugary metaphor.

“It's necessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live.”
― Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo

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Sam

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Wed Feb 13, 2008 1:11 am

Sam says... · Wed Feb 13, 2008 1:11 am

*shameless plug*

So, I've been hacking away at The Parking Lot Sparrows for the past several days. If you really loved me, you'd read the first part and then go and read the second part.

I decided I should write a book of short stories inspired by Neutral Milk Hotel lyrics. Really, I've got three just off of "Two Headed Boy"--Crose, Memorize Another Golgotha, and The Parking Lot Sparrows. Maybe I'm just sad?

Sparrows is really weird. I think it's my favorite thing that I've writen in awhile--it's one of those things that I am extremely doubtful as to its actual literary merit, but it's terribly fun to to write. Not necessarily easy, just fun. Like playing dress up in more than eighteen POVs.

Additionally, I should just come to terms with the fact that all of my stories will feature death, feature snarky male characters, and that a high percentage of aforementioned snarky male characters will be of the homosexual persuasion. Why? It's like the Neutral Milk Hotel thing. Maybe I'm just sad.

Anyway. Go read! I'd love you forever.

- Sam

Graffiti is the most passionate form of literature there is.

- Demetri Martin

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Leja

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Wed Feb 13, 2008 3:21 pm

Leja says... · Wed Feb 13, 2008 3:21 pm

Additionally, I should just come to terms with the fact that all of my stories will feature death, feature snarky male characters, and that a high percentage of aforementioned snarky male characters will be of the homosexual persuasion. Why? It's like the Neutral Milk Hotel thing. Maybe I'm just sad.

lol, I love those "coming to terms" moments. And maybe I'll think about reading :wink:

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Sam

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Tue Mar 04, 2008 4:36 pm

Sam says... · Tue Mar 04, 2008 4:36 pm

I should do this in pretty list format, I suppose. Peer pressure!

HOURGLASS: After ages, I am working on Upton and David? It is really strange to be suddenly "back in action", but it's fun so I suppose I can't complain. They're all so weird. I adore them. And Adelais shows up soon, which is a comfort.

D IS FOR DIPHTHERIA: Bahhhh. Insecurity. XD I've been in a mood for depressing stories as of late, so I have a lot more things written for the ending than what really needs to be done--the beginning. Carl and Sukie have been stuck in Dairy Queen for the past two weeks. They need to bathe. Seriously.

LAZY BONES: Revived! By Cal's amazing mix-ness. It was early in November when I wrote the first draft, so it's not too terrible. I mainly need to rewrite a few paragraphs, but it's pretty cool other than that. I can get to the fun things pretty soon--it's not that long of a story.

THE PARKING LOT SPARROWS: Is not, as such, done. I'm rewriting a few of the perspectives (the Nurse, Maria, etc) and adding in a few new ones (Mrs. Next Door, the Postboy, Angela, the Sister). It's way too long to be healthy, but I love it so much! Novel-ness might be on the horizon, but at 13,000, it's kind of hard to forsee. Hmm.

MEMORIZE ANOTHER GOLGOTHA: Revived! I am thinking of sending it into a contest, but that's only if I can finish it before the fifteenth. I think I can.

THE SCRIMSHAW COMPANY PLAYERS: I want to write this. Desperately. Spring break?

Graffiti is the most passionate form of literature there is.

- Demetri Martin

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Emerson

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Tue Mar 04, 2008 4:44 pm

Emerson says... · Tue Mar 04, 2008 4:44 pm

HOURGLASS: I love Upton. And Addy. You should give me more to read!

D IS FOR DIPHTHERIA: Carl should shower. Seriously. I bet he smells. Otherwise: write something so I can read it!

LAZY BONES: I know I read the first part but honestly I forget what this is about...Which is why you should write more

THE PARKING LOT SPARROWS: You need to publish this. Send me the new version when you're done. Immediately.

MEMORIZE ANOTHER GOLGOTHA: You can do it by the fifteenth! Send it to the contest, because you will win.

THE SCRIMSHAW COMPANY PLAYERS: I forget what this is about, and as such, you should write it.

RESULT: You should write. Not that you aren't, but you know, you should write and show it all to me.

“It's necessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live.”
― Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo

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