Indigents

Babies, when born, are acceptable
stark-naked, bare bottom,
cares (and other parts) to the wind.
So, too, do I bear my
emotions, ugly creatures to the world,
only encouraged to persist
when fed.

Can anyone spare a
scrap of moderation for them, or
perhaps
a coat of restraint
for their mother?

Hmm... I like the idea and stuff, but I don't know. For one, in order to appreciate this poem, you have to think babies are ugly. Why? Because, if emotions are ugly then babies have to be ugly to be a good comparison. Since I don't think that, the poem is lost on me.

So... I think it might be good if you described what exactly is ugly about babies.

And the grammar sounds wrong last stanza. ><;;

Yes, this seemed to be the result of a passing thought. I agree with Snoink - I don't think Babies are ugly either so the whole poem seems irrelevant.

*laughs* Yeah, it's been a long time since I've written poetry. Admittedly, I thought up this one while in the shower, and I wrote it down about an hour later. So... that might explain a little. Passing thought, indeed.

Basically, I've been really frustrated with being overly emotional lately, and this was a product of that frustration. I guess I compared the frustration with that of a single mother, out on the streets, overwhelmed by the task of taking care of her babies.

I'll look at it a little more and think about it a little more and see if I can change it so it's a little more fitting. Of course, with a little more insight into the background of the poem, maybe you guys can help me with that?

Yes, I'm not too fond of the topic either, but that doesn't hold me up.

You seem to be using a lot of comma's here, which some of them I find misplaced.

Babies, when born, are acceptable;
stark-naked, bare bottom,
cares (and other parts) to the wind.
So, too, do I bear my
emotions, ugly creatures to the world,
only encouraged to persist
when fed.

Ouch I've had a rough time figuring out what exactly that line means. Cares other parts to the wind? or caries? if it's cares then I have no idea what you mean but the comma at the end of the second line chucks up the whole sentence. Now if you mean caries, I'll atleast understand the third line and the comma at the end of the second line isn't misplaced

Can anyone spare them
a scrap of moderation , or
perhaps
a coat of restraint
for their mother?

To my opinion, it flows better with the adjustments I've made by replacing "them". As for the italic line, nice ending

Cheerios, Chandni

I think where this poem failed for me was the vagueness in your emotions. You simply say "emotions" and that's where I can't empathise. What emotions? Why is it so hard to deal with them? It seemsl like you've just told us it's hard to deal with, and then compared this with the baby-caring stuff, rather than focused on your own emotions. Personally, that's what I think you need to work on.