I tried sooo many different variations of this and this was the least worst lol. Also I have no idea why my poems turn eerie even when the theme is kind of warm and bright
Last edited by redcarnation on Sun Jun 14, 2026 2:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.
How about them colours now that YWS emerged from its depressive phase? xd
Idk what you mean, a phantom limb might sound a little eerie but I feel like this is an interesting way to describe remembering a flavour, or maybe a memory you associate with this flavour 🤔
^ This is such a powerful image - it's sort of whimsical/fantastical but also suspenseful in a way.
The idea of a lingering sweet taste, a memory of a time long gone is kind of eerie/melancholy as you say, but I can totally see it as being a nostalgic poem too.
your soul and the sea evaporated this summer & now i look up at the sky when i’m lonely & the clouds strain to form the shape of you
OOF this is so short and yet it packs in so much, I feel like I know and resonate with this feeling precisely. The double meaning of "strain" and "evaporated" - showing a kind of distilling / losing oneself amidst "straining" is intriguing too - the word choice is so precise and then the imagery too packs a punch. Super well done! Keep up the fabulous work.
you should know i am a time traveler & there is no season as achingly temporary as now
these are great poems so far! the flow of them just sounds lovely and consistent! even with the overall shortness, they all feel completed pieces that already says enough with few little lines. these have been splendid to read!
red, I love the overall succintness of these poems and how you manage to convey so much emotion / imagery in only a few lines. for instance, the whimsicality in #4 carries a lot of this "childhood wonder" feeling that exists in fairytales or bedtime stories, as well as #2 having that same sense of childhood nostalgia / experiencing summer before you "grow up" and it stops being as meaningful in the same way - you're evoking so many different memories and feelings in those lines!
lovely work so far! can't wait to see what else you write!
In a shadow there is the blessing of a shadow. — Kuki Shūzō
