Beggars and Choosers

Poor supplicant begs at her master’s door for love;
for she is tired and hungry, and one kind word will feed her
for a month.
Poor sorry girl, in bare feet with her shawl pulled close.
The scars of many years’ blind doors stain her ragged face.
And he on the top step looks down
with eyes that see nothing but her dirt and fear,
and lets his cold face consign her
to a hard death in the snow.

I can find nothing wrong with it, precisely, but it lacks something. Definitely don't scrap it, but I'd work with it a bit and see what you can come up with.

The language for the first part is biased towards the girl, talking about how she is so pitiable. Instead, try describing what makes her pitiable.

Good luck with you and your dad. O_o

The scars of many years’ blind doors stain her ragged face.
And he on the top step looks down

I liked, it particularly these two lines. The perspective is a bit of a cliche, and it needs an extra spark of originality. Keep working on it - you've got something good here.

i agree with all above, and i think (but i just type 'thinked', so i don't know if you should trust me) that you did just the right amount of description of the man. i know what he's like, and i didn't have to sort through endless description to get to it. play with this, see what you can do with it.

I agree with most of the above, and I think it has a okay sense of emotion but a different wording or more description of the girl might add more power to it. when i read it i saw a pretty well described picture of the man and the situation but most of the emotion that would normally give it power left much to be desired. Its good but I'm sure you can make it great.