James didn't move from the chair after Dr. Ashlund left.
He didn't need to.
There was only so much he could do, out here in Ruddlan. Within the past 24 hours, and the past three months, he felt he'd already exhausted every stream of thought he considered for the heist. Getting Caspar involved was the last step, and now that they'd talked things through, there was nothing else to tell.
It was just a maddening waiting game until they returned back to King's Peak, where he could finally put his plan into action.
But gods, the waiting was agony. And things would only go downhill, from here. Relationally, he'd burnt almost every bridge left to burn, except for the ones he needed. Sticking around long enough to watch everything go up in flames was painful, and he didn't know if he could handle staying present for it.
Still, he had to. He couldn't leave until he accomplished his mission.
Then he would go and never return. Until then, it was a slow, painful death.
He thought about getting up again, going for another walk despite how much his head was throbbing -- but merely sitting in the light was making things worse, and he really didn't want to subject himself to more pain at the moment if he didn't have to.
So, instead, he got up and pulled a throw blanket off the bed, climbing up to the bed's headboard and standing on the mattress to see if he could make this damn room any darker. He tucked the blanket over the curtain rod and the closed curtains, trying to pull it over every gap where light tried to peek through.
It took some fiddling, but finally, the blanket stayed.
With a small sigh of relief, he slowly fell back onto the bed, feeling the ache in his back radiate once again with the slightest pressure.
And then his door opened without so much as a knock.
Biting back a curse, James tried to sit up as quickly as possible, only to have his head spin and throb at the effort. He shot out his arm at his side to steady himself, trying not to wince as he turned around and saw Carter standing in his doorway.
Carter looked at the blanket, hanging over the curtains.
"Resourceful," he murmured.
James scanned Carter, trying to pick apart his reasons for entering unannounced. A folder, under his arm. Shoes, still on. He looked put together - as he usually did - but more formal. He must've just come from a meeting.
"Sprawling in bed today, are we?" Carter asked, closing the door behind him.
To which, James really just wanted to throw a pillow at him in childish spite. But he didn't.
"What do you want, Carter?" James asked tiredly.
"Wow. Alright. You're testy, I get it," Carter said as he strolled across the room to sit in the chair James had just abandoned. He sat down heavily and leaned back, setting his folder beside him on the desk.
He adjusted the chair so he was directly facing the bed. He wanted to talk a while.
James didn't want to talk at all.
"Listen, I'm sorry about Ingrid," Carter started.
Already, James was done with the conversation. He sat on the bed stiffly, wondering how much of this he should entertain to avoid any more allegations of him being over-dramatic. Not that he was trying to preserve his reputation with his friends, at the moment.
This was more just about the stupid rumors the maids liked to murmur between the walls.
Carter looked like he was waiting for James to say something, but there was nothing left to say. James shrugged, tossing his hands out into the air loosely. To which, Carter inclined his head with a more pointed stare.
"She's a mess, you know," Carter said.
And that was his responsibility?
"Oh," James said flatly. "Well. Gods forbid she process her feelings."
"What exactly was it you said to her?" Carter asked.
James pressed his lips into a frown, narrowing his eyes at Carter. Ever since the war ended and they got back to the Moonlight Kingdom, Carter had stopped caring about him personally, unless it interfered with work. So of course he'd ask about this.
"It doesn't matter," James said. "No one was surprised. I did all of us a favor."
"Somehow I'm always amazed at your inability to answer a simple question," Carter said with a huff, looking down for a moment as he set his hands together in his lap, positioning himself patiently to wait. "This isn't a work meeting--"
"The only reason it isn't," James said. "Is because it's not formal. But it might as well be."
Carter blinked slowly, and James could tell that he was testing Carter's patience.
"You're the one being childish right now," Carter said. "Now. We can have this conversation as adults, or you can keep dodging questions like I'm a journalist and not your friend."
"My friend," James said. "That's also my boss--"
"I'm not your fucking boss, Tiberius--" Carter said tiredly.
"The only reason you care about what's going on with Ingrid and I is because it makes us look bad," James said, sharper. "Where were you months ago? When I needed you? You're all acting like I'm the one who ruined everything and if I changed, everything would just go back to normal. But it can't. And it never will."
Carter let out a sigh, folding his arms.
"You're still so focused on yourself," Carter said. "It's always about you, isn't it? Poor you. No one cares about you. No one helped you. You, you, you. As if I haven't sat through dozens of your pity parties in the past. You want me to make this about work? Fine, we'll make this about work. You're being unprofessional, and I'm tired of having to clean up your messes. And you're only getting sloppier. Ever since you've been out of commission with a 'concussion,' I've been having to explain to people how you ended up in a barfight in the upper city. You: representing the king himself, getting in a public fight. Drunk no less."
"You know I didn't start that," James hissed quietly.
"It doesn't matter what the truth is, anymore, Tiberius," Carter said. "People talk, and it looks bad no matter what you say. Now, if we could've been able to confirm that your attacker was a mage sympathizer, maybe we would actually have--"
"This again?" James scoffed. "Really? You're still not going to let that go?"
"You might not care about how your actions are perceived, Tiberius," Carter said. "But take it from someone who never had a choice, growing up in the public eye. Your actions have consequences. And if you don't clean it up nicely, it'll come back to bite you later."
Gods, the last thing James needed was a lecture.
His head hurt.
He leaned forward onto the bed, burying his face in the covers.
"Well now you're just being difficult," Carter said.
"I want to be alone," James emphasized into the bedsheets.
"That has been abundantly clear since your awful display this morning," Carter said. "Walking out like that before any of us could have a moment to say a word."
"I. Don't. Care," James said, this time with more effort as he fell over on the bed, now prone on his side.
"So that's it. You want to be left alone to wallow," Carter said. "No accountability. No responsibility--"
"I don't know what you want me to say!" James cut in. "I broke up with her. It's over."
"Your side of the story would be nice," Carter said.
James felt his frustration knot up in his chest.
"No," he said firmly.
Carter was silent for a moment.
"No," Carter repeated in disappointment. "And that's your final answer?"
"Get out," James said lowly, a threat on his breath.
"You're being unreasonable," Carter replied.
"Get. Out," James repeated, sitting up.
Carter got out of his chair, raising his hands in surrender before grabbing his folder and heading for the door. Without another word, Carter walked out the door, closing it firmly behind him. James got up and hastily locked it the moment he was gone, not wanting any more unwelcome surprise visitors.
And, finally left alone, in a room at least bearably dark, he crawled into his bed and hid under the covers, hoping his head would stop throbbing with its own heartbeat.
