Two Crows Watch from the Gallows Tree (part 13)

Ky returned the nod, then instantly felt awkward at their display of affection and blushed and began closing the door. Hopefully she’d set his mind at enough ease to be vulnerable with her. Even though they would have no guarantee of privacy if they didn’t lock the door…

Gaius held onto her like a lifeline, and she let him bury his face in her gown and cloak.
"What's happened?" she asked gently, perching on the arm of his chair and keeping him wrapped in her arms. Gaius shook his head slightly, voice muffled as he said, "I need to breathe. I need to breathe, give me a moment."

Ky took a deep breath and then started for her bedroom. She briefly considered sitting outside the door to be a barrier herself — to be able to warn him if Septimus or Michael came in to watch — although she obviously couldn’t mention Michael. But. Well. He had the option to lock his door. And she wanted the option to lock hers.

She stroked his hair, letting him steady himself and rubbing his back with her other hand. "You're with me," she said softly. "You're with me."
He nodded, shivering and rocking against her slightly.
"Do you need anything?" she asked when the shaking had ceased, several minutes later.
"Just you," he whispered. "Please."

God. Fucking. Damn. This.

Damn it all to hell.

She was out of breath and trembly by the time she sprinted up the stairs and to her room and locked the door behind her. Then she checked under her bed and in her closet for ghosts. She knew it was paranoia. The same as checking for monsters under the bed -- it's not like the spirits would stoop to sneaking around under her bed, especially given the fact that they didn't know that she could see them. But. Well. It made her feel better.

"Better."

She rubbed her face again and again and again as she started pacing in front of her fireplace, breaths getting jagged and sharp as she got herself more and more worked up.

Gaius sighed and raised his head after another few minutes. "Things are worse than before," he mumbled. "So much worse. The gods are waking things in people...abilities..."
Sara's brow furrowed. "Wait--"
"I'm going to be sick," he said miserably, resting his head back in her lap. "I'm going to die, Sara, he's here, he can follow me if I leave this room..."

It was Ky's worst fears come true: the possibility of maybe having to come face to face with Michael. Already having had to interact with Septimus.

All of her laments about not being able to be there for her father and Gaius when Michael was around to hurt them -- lies, apparently. She'd always known she wouldn't have actually been able to stop Michael from getting to them, but at the very least she'd like to think herself bold enough to stand between them and at least get Michael somewhat tired out on her.

But no.

She wanted nothing to do with that now that it was an actual possibility.

She didn't want to have to suck Michael's dick to keep his ego stroked enough he didn't hurt her. She wanted to cuss him out then be done with him. Forever. But no.

No, he was around. Somewhere.

And with her luck, Septimus had probably already gone and told Michael about her ability. Of course he had. She was stupid to sass him as much as she had. Justified, certainly. But stupid. Now she'd made him hate her and gave him that much more motivation to hurt her, and Tomhas by proxy. If Tomhas could be sacrificed as bait, his newly adopted slave-turned-daughter certainly could be.

Gods.

"Who? Gaius, what are you talking about?"
Gaius took her hand and held onto it tightly. "Father. Ky has...I told you about Tomhas. How he was after he took her down the tunnels. There are..." He sighed again. "It sounds so ridiculous. Unbelievable. But...Ky can see the dead?"

What was she going to do?

She had to figure out a way to protect herself. And she had to figure out how to do it in such a way that no one else would notice -- especially not Tomhas or Gaius, since they would be the ones most likely to pick up on any supernatural drama she got sucked into, regardless of how cool she tried to play it.

Gods.

Imagine if Michael, or Septimus, or any of the others decided to attack her. What the fuck would she do? Were they as strong now as they were in life? Stronger? Faster? Would she be able to outrun them and find a door she could lock behind her?

Or would she just get the thrashing of the lifetime out in public, with people watching her getting bloodied and bruised all without them being able to see her assailant?

Sara was silent for a beat, staring down at her husband without expression. Then she took a deep breath.
"That doesn't sound as insane as it would have two months ago," she said finally, trying to keep her voice steady. "But how do you know? Did she tell you this?"
He nodded. "About half an hour ago. And not long after she...ran into him. Father."
Sara grimaced. "Are we sure this isn't..."
"I'm sure," Gaius said immediately. "She's not gone mad, she isn't imagining things. He as good as told her about Tomhas's....betrayals of Anneke. I'm still not sure what to do about that. Tomhas has to tell her, but he should consult Anneke first. They need to approach this carefully or they could lose her. But there are apparitions wandering around this Keep, Sara, whole generations of Ashes watching my every move, judging me, judging us..." He hiccupped, then swallowed and took a deep breath, then hiccupped again.
"Have some tea." She poured him another cup. Gaius took it with a shaking hand and sipped at it, hiccuping a third time before he got it down.

She couldn't risk it. She couldn't.

Not without knowing what the risks were. Michael wouldn't use his sword, hypothetically -- but that wouldn't stop him from strangling her. Bashing her head in against the wall. Snapping bones. Could he kill he? Would he? Gods.

Then she'd be stuck wandering around the spirit realm of Serpent Keep along with all the Ash ancestors, with no way to contact her family and Michael hunting her for the rest of her days. She couldn't handle that. She needed to just... stay somewhere safe.

That's a cowardly solution.

Yeah? Well. She didn't need Septimus's approval -- she didn't want it, even. She just didn't want to watch her father grieve her death from the spirit realm. That would crush her.

"You never cared about what your ancestors thought before," she reminded him as he drank, still rubbing his back. "And you can't see them, right?" He shook his head. "Then they may as well not exist. Forget what they think."
"What if they can hurt Ky?" he asked.
"Can they?"
"She...didn't give a real answer. I don't know. Maybe."
"Then we'll see what we can do about that. Maybe the skalds have an answer to that. Or perhaps she's been given this power because a god took notice of her. Maybe she's under someone's protection."
"They aren't even awake yet," he pointed out, sitting up with a small groan. "How would they protect her?"
"It could be a heralding of sorts."

(are you mocking me? using that cursed word xD)

She forced herself to take several deep breaths in an attempt to calm herself.

She supposed a ghostly bodyguard was the best she could hope for, if she was to leave her room. But. Well. Literally all of the ghosts she'd met to this point had seemed to want very little to do with the living. None of them would be willing to babysit her, she was sure of it. Especially not since they'd be signing up for a thrashing from Michael. Or, at the very least, a fight with him.

What did it feel like to be attacked by a ghost?

What did it feel like to be attacked when you were the ghost?

Would she be able to defend herself at least, if Michael came after her? Should she take up her sparring lessons again?

(Which word? Heralding?)

"I hope for her sake that isn't the case." He hiccupped again and downed a long drink of tea. "The gods aren't the sort you want to associate with. She'd be walking on eggshells, and she's had to do that for three years already."
Sara nodded in agreement. "True. But if they're protecting her, and it's one of the good ones..."
"Hypothetically if she were being protected or chosen or something, it would have to be Haelar," he mused. "Death and dreaming and all that. He's not terrible in the stories, but not particularly wonderful either. I'd rather she wasn't shackled to any of them."

(yeah haha I had a whole little aside in my tagbook post of me not being able to spell that word to save my life lol)

She finally began losing the battle against her tears and scrubbed her face angrily. She was a coward. And not at all excited about the possibility of having to return to living under the wrath of a psychopath. Especially not one as unhinged as Michael. Aleth was savage, but she knew how to predict him. To placate him.

There was no placating Michael.

Perhaps she should just dig around in her gut until she found Kyber again. Drag him back out. He was better at not getting beat than Kylia was. Perhaps Michael would like Kyber.