Two Crows Watch from the Gallows Tree (part 11)

Bay's hands were on him as he nearly convulsed off the bed. He held his leg steady, placed one strong hand on his chest while Sara held down his arms. Gaius heard someone screaming as the pain dragged left, right, left, right, down into his leg until it hit bone and then it kept going. He thrashed under his wife and his friend; this was worse than he ever could have imagined, worse than the crushing had been. He was glad of the poppy, however little it did. He was sure he would die if it hurt any more.

(You apologize right now)

I think this is all I have for now — you already got numerous ones from me before this. I

… could she use the word love? They’d both used it. But… it felt… she wasn’t sure how it made her feel. Just that it did.

love and miss you all and will wait in eager anticipation for

The day they stopped being cruel. But she couldn’t very well say that. No emotional manipulation. At least none that was intentional. Which this would be, if she started wheedling.

(I'm sowwy)

There was a moment a minute later when the saw came through, and he was still struggling, chest heaving and head spinning. Then there was a burning sensation as Sera cauterized the wound.
"It's over," he heard Sara's voice saying, and Bay's hands came off him. He turned his head, saw his own blood dripping from the bed onto the stone floor, and promptly passed out.

the day it’s safe for me to come home to you all.

Love,
Ky

It still felt weird to say that. Awkward. But. She supposed the first I love you’s usually were.

Sera set about cleaning and stitching up the stump so it would grow properly. "And when's that prosthetic getting here?" she asked.
Sara wiped sweat from her brow and sat back. "The woman who'll be designing and building it should arrive in the next week, and depending on how complex she intends to go it should be anywhere between two weeks and two months."
"He'll love that," Sera said with a shake of her head.

Ky decided to tackle the Herculean task of answering Anneliese’s letter next. She kept having to skim through it to pick out the many talking points her little sister had provided.

"She's the best in the business, at least," Sara pointed out. "It'll be pricy, but he might not need a cane."
"The cut is above the knee," Bay said grimly. "He'll need one no matter how good the new joint is."

Ky answered her little brothers next, drawing them each a fresh picture as well. Peter got a picture of the two of them holding hands and walking through a field of flowers; Oscar got an elk.

She moved on to Tomhas’s letter next, rereading it with a heavy, heavy sigh. Perhaps she wouldn’t answer him at all.

"But it won't hurt as badly to walk," Sera said firmly. "That's what's important."

Would that be too harsh?

Punishing him through silence?

It’d probably hurt him to be skipped by both daughters.

But. Well. Fuck it. She’d answer him if he was making better choices. As it was, it’d be awkward to have his letter cross with his visit. What would she say? “Don’t come” — for him to discover after he came? Not to mention he wouldn’t have read the letter and was going to follow up about all of it in person anyway.

Sara nodded in agreement, brushing Gaius's hair out of his face. "How long will recovery take?"
"The whole stump will take a few weeks to heal," Sera replied. "It'll rub raw on the prosthetic, though, so it will need constant attention. Make sure he puts salve on it regularly when that happens."

Not to mention… she didn’t want to.

He said he was taking her feelings into account, but he wasn’t.

He was taking his own feelings, and the feelings he wanted her to have, into account. She’d told him what she wanted. How was he going to claim to be taking her feelings into account as he actively hurt them?

He didn’t deserve a letter.

Sara nodded.
"I say we let him sleep for now," Sera mused. "Do you two want to stay with him?"
"I'll stay," Sara said. "You can go if you want to, Terran."
"I've got some work to do," Bay said reluctantly. "You're all fine up here?"
"Fine as can be," Sera replied. "Go if you need to."

She was being a bitch.

But.

She stood up and walked to the door, hesitating a long, long minute before she went out. She wouldn’t send them yet. She’d think about it.

Figure out a way to stop being such an asshole.

Take his feelings into account even if he wasn’t considering hers.

Grudges were not a good look.