"All due respect...you're not okay. And that's okay." He rubbed his arm. "You're going through some shit. It takes some time to process that, so try not to beat yourself up about it. Alright?"
"The Imperial need for control is so desperate because it is so unnatural. Tyranny requires constant effort. It breaks, it leaks. Authority is brittle. Oppression is the mask of fear. Remember that." -Karis Nemik
“I don’t need to process anything,” she said quietly, but deliberately. Processing it involved feelings. It was better to pretend that it didn’t exist. “It’s fine.”
"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus "From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf "A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni [they/he]
Emery gave his head a small shake. "That's not helping you with anything, Ky. I tried that for awhile and it just doesn't work, alright? It's fine if you don't want to admit it to anyone else, sure. But give yourself some slack." He turned away. "I'll be in the library if you want to talk."
"The Imperial need for control is so desperate because it is so unnatural. Tyranny requires constant effort. It breaks, it leaks. Authority is brittle. Oppression is the mask of fear. Remember that." -Karis Nemik
She watched him. Why would she possibly try to follow him when he was clearly trying this hard to get away from her? Besides. It may not work for him, but it was clearly the best of all the awful options she had.
"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus "From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf "A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni [they/he]
"What if it doesn't work?" Sara asked. "Then we try something new." Gaius rubbed his head. "I need to sit down and rest, Sara. I'll think of something eventually." His head was throbbing; it was hard to take more than a few steps without leaning on Sara.
"The Imperial need for control is so desperate because it is so unnatural. Tyranny requires constant effort. It breaks, it leaks. Authority is brittle. Oppression is the mask of fear. Remember that." -Karis Nemik
Ky turned away, too, with no idea whatsoever of where to go or what to do. She wanted someone to tell her. To give her a letter to translate and make her sweat until struggled through it. Or something. She didn’t know. But she clearly couldn’t be responsible for herself right now. And yet she was.
"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus "From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf "A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni [they/he]
"You look terrible," she said to him. "Mm. Fancy that." He fumbled with the door to the parlor and got it open. Sara helped him over to the couch, and they sat down. "Do you suppose we could get something warm to eat in here?" Sara gave him a look of surprise, but she nodded. "Of course. Soup?" "Yes, please."
"The Imperial need for control is so desperate because it is so unnatural. Tyranny requires constant effort. It breaks, it leaks. Authority is brittle. Oppression is the mask of fear. Remember that." -Karis Nemik
Ky wrapped her arms around herself and wandered down the hall. She wasn't going to process anything. And they couldn’t make her. Well, she supposed, they could order her to… she didn’t even know. Something. There was probably a way they could force her. But if they didn’t then she wasn’t going to.
"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus "From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf "A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni [they/he]
Sara rose and left, leaving Gaius alone. He let out a heavy sigh and rested his head on the pillow. Ky wasn't going to change as quickly as Sara wanted. She ought to know that, having dealt with him for over ten years. It was frustrating, certainly, but he could understand why she was trying so hard.
"The Imperial need for control is so desperate because it is so unnatural. Tyranny requires constant effort. It breaks, it leaks. Authority is brittle. Oppression is the mask of fear. Remember that." -Karis Nemik
Ky felt aimless. She considered going to a parlor — no one would find her there. But, then, that was probably not a great thing. She should be readily available if anyone needed her to do… whatever it was that a numb noble girl was supposed to do when her uncle abandoned her.
So, her room, then. They’d know to check for her there if they wanted her.
She started towards the stairs.
"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus "From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf "A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni [they/he]
Sara had been patient with Gaius. Excessively so. She was still patient with him. But seeing Ky at an age where, Gaius was sure, Sara assumed more could change must trigger some sort of motherly instinct to make things right. She might have some luck, but not if she kept approaching it outright. Ky needed indirect caring, or else she got stressed out.
"The Imperial need for control is so desperate because it is so unnatural. Tyranny requires constant effort. It breaks, it leaks. Authority is brittle. Oppression is the mask of fear. Remember that." -Karis Nemik
Her body felt so heavy as she dragged herself up the stairs, one by painstaking one. But she managed it, and wandered down the hall, literally dragging her feet. Her shoulders were slumped and eyes on the ground as she shuffled forward.
"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus "From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf "A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni [they/he]
He figured it was best that he himself kept her close but not too close. She was uncomfortable around nobles and that had to be dealt with, but for now it seemed wise to let her get close to the teenagers here as well as the former slaves. For the moment, they were her people.
"The Imperial need for control is so desperate because it is so unnatural. Tyranny requires constant effort. It breaks, it leaks. Authority is brittle. Oppression is the mask of fear. Remember that." -Karis Nemik
Ky let herself into her room quickly and then stood and stared at the closed door for a long, long moment. Did she lock it? She wanted to. But they clearly didn’t trust her anymore — if they ever did to begin with — and she wasn’t interested in them losing their minds if she didn’t open the door immediately. So she sighed softly and left it unlocked and kicked her shoes off.
Whatever.
What was privacy, if she couldn’t have the things that truly mattered?
She stripped off her cloak and gloves then crawled onto the bed.
"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus "From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf "A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni [they/he]
Besides, they might have advice that he himself couldn't offer her. He knew he wasn't a healthy man. His coping mechanisms were inconvenient at best and self-destructive at worst; Ky wouldn't benefit from any help he offered. Ada and Rickard, on the other hand, seemed like they could offer her two good perspectives--realistic ones.
Last edited by Ljungtroll on Sun Apr 24, 2022 9:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"The Imperial need for control is so desperate because it is so unnatural. Tyranny requires constant effort. It breaks, it leaks. Authority is brittle. Oppression is the mask of fear. Remember that." -Karis Nemik
