Two Crows Watch from the Gallows Tree (part 7)

"But you can't hate the person you love, even if he does something that stupid." She shook her head. "Just give him advice and hope he listens."

Ky nodded. All of the things that came to mind at first were bordering on flattery, and she’d learned her lesson on that. At least, when she had the presence of mind to remember they all hated it. “Does he usually listen?”

"Usually." Sara nodded. "I think we're a good team. But I can only do so much to combat his fear. He's always afraid, and that influences every decision he makes. The fear has been in his life longer than I have."

“It’s a hard thing to shake.” Ky nodded. “I’m sure he feels safer having you around, though. It’s important to have someone you trust.”

"I hope so." Sara gave another heavy sigh. "Sometimes I wonder if I've made it worse, because now he has to worry about keeping me and the children safe as well as himself."

“Mm… I can’t speak for him,” Ky said thoughtfully. “But it helps me to have people around to focus on caring for, rather than to stew in my own thoughts and emotions day in and day out.”

Which is why this was going to be such a hard few months. There was going to be a painful amount of time that she was left to her own devices. God only knew how bad her brain was going to do her.

"I suppose so." Sara nodded to herself. "I hope."

“He wouldn’t have chosen you, if not,” Ky pointed out. “You added value to his life somehow, or he would have pushed you away.”

It’d been alarming how cold he’d been towards Tomhas at the meeting. How Gaius’s soldiers seemed ready to execute Tomhas for the crime of wanting to give Gaius a mere hug. If he could treat his own brother like that, she had no doubt he could be colder to the rest of the world.

"You're probably right." She smiled slightly. "Thank you, Ky. I'm lucky to have him."

“Of course.” Ky offered a little smile. She supposed she was grateful she could offer Sara another perspective. It must be bewildering to watch the person you care about fold in on themselves, when your normal, healthy brain can’t even begin to understand what theirs were doing to them. “And he’s lucky to have you. You clearly love each other very much.”

Sara dipped her head and glanced down the hall. "How much further now?"

“It’s just up here on the right.” Ky gestured at door a few rooms down.

Sara sped up again, knocking and then opening the door.
Gaius was curled up in his chair with his back turned toward the door and his arms were clenched protectively around his abdomen. His bad leg was splayed out to the side because he couldn't get it onto the chair.
"Gaius?" Sara stepped forward. "Honey, I'm here. What happened?" Gaius's head turned slightly but he didn't respond.

Gods, he looked like hell. Ky quickly pulled the door shut and stumbled away from it, feeling like a lost puppy without a clear direction of what to do now.

Sara sat down on the arm of the chair but didn't touch him yet. Gaius shifted toward her slightly, and she rested a hand on his shoulder, rubbing it gently. "I'm here. Can you tell me what happened?" Still no response. She could feel his breathing; he was hyperventilating. She got off the chair and knelt where he would be able to see her, but his eyes were closed. "Open your eyes, dear. Gaius, open your eyes."