Two Crows Watch from the Gallows Tree (part 5)

Ky took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to ground herself. She’d been bracing herself to argue with Gaius and Zander and whoever else decided they wanted to yell at her.

She had not anticipated having to deal with sympathy from a child. It made her feel like an asshole.

“My meat was fine, I just dropped it,” she murmured. Then she sighed and reached forward and cut off another piece, this time not hesitating with the knife so that no one would try to take it from her. That would just make her feel worse. She couldn’t quite find the energy to look at him, but she continued, “Thank you, though, buddy. That’s very kind of you.”

"Okay." Mattathias smiled brightly and ate his slice of meat. "I drop stuff lots of times, don't feel bad!"
"He's clumsy!" Marcella announced. Mattathias stuck his tongue out at her.

Ky mustered a very, very weak smile. “Happens to the best of us.”

"Yeah," Mattathias agreed with her through chattering teeth; the temperature had dropped.
"We should probably settle in to sleep soon," one of the soldiers suggested. "The tents are up but they'll be snowed in within the next two hours." Gaius nodded to him.
"I think we're finishing up here," he replied.

That was good to hear. She’d been trying to gauge whether she could get away with skulking off to her tent soon.

Zander and Tadaaki approached the camp, both perplexed and yet somehow understanding of what had happened. Zander didn’t know why. But he also figured pushing her would just make her shut down, so instead he said, “glad you made it back safe.”

“Yep.” She kept starting at her knees and the piece of meat that she had no intentions of eating.

"She dropped her meat," Mattathias informed Zander and Tadaaki. "But she's okay now! I think."
"You're a good lad, Mattathias." Gaius gave his son a pat and rose. "I'm off to bed. Sara, want me to take the little ones?"
"I'll be along too." Sara rose, hoisting her children up with her.

Ky stood, too, eager to get an excuse to hide. Tadaaki hadn’t sat down, yet, so he strode forward and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “Can we talk? I have a question for you.”

She knew what the question was, and she didn’t want to answer it. Either he was going to chastise her for trying it; or he was going to ask for suggestions on how he could follow suit. And she didn’t want to deal with either. “I have no answers for you.”

She tried to pull out of his arm, but he, very gently, had her locked in place.

“Ky.”

She hesitated a long moment, then looked up and made eye contact. And, as always, that made her care enough for him that she forgot herself. She huffed a sigh. “Fine.”

(Oh also these tents are gonna be small, wigwamish type things that house multiple people out of necessity since you can't have a fire in the tent. I'm guessing Ky will be bedding down with Tadaaki's family, so something to consider there)

"Goodnight, everyone!" Sara waved half-heartedly as she followed her husband into their tent. Mattathias waved as well; Marcella and Regulus were already half asleep.

(good to know! I'd been wondering.... that might make things harder, though lol Zander will absolutely wake up if she so much as rolls over in the middle of the night. Would he maybe have gotten relegated to sleeping with the guards so it wouldn't be weird for him to be in a tent with one of the women? idk)

Ky offered a half-hearted wave back to Mattathias, but still wasn't looking at anyone.

"Could you take Tasia to bed, dear?" Tadaaki asked Aashi. "We won't be long."

Aashi looked at him a long moment, worried, but decided voicing any of her anxiety would just make the situation worse. "Of course, love."

(Yeah he'd probably be with the guards)

"That was absolutely idiotic," Sara scolded quietly as she laid the children down. "What were you doing?"
"Trying to help." Gaius took off the brooch for his cloak and wrapped the cloak tightly around himself. "I don't know!"

(aww haha you tell 'im, Sara)

Zander watched everyone wander off, and sighed. He had questions of his own. But it was clear that Tadaaki was, for whatever reason, the only person she trusted these days. So he supposed he'd just have to let it happen. "Love you," he murmured to her.

She didn't look up. "Love you."

Zander bit back another sigh and turned towards his tent.

Tadaaki and Ky waited until they were finally alone, then Tadaaki let her go and sat down next to the fire, patting the ground next to him. She sighed and sat down by him.

"There are other ways of getting kids to eat, as you know." Sara curled herself around the children on one side and Gaius did the same, so they were nestled around the outside and the warmth would be trapped within. "That was not one of them."
"It was stupid," Gaius agreed irritably. "I've undone a lot of hard work, broken her trust. I was a fool."
"Damn straight. You'll apologize to her, right?"
Gaius was silent.
"Right, Gaius?'
"She knows I regret it," he muttered.
"That's not the same. You'll apologize to her, Gaius, because she needs that fron you."

"What was that?" Tadaaki murmured.

"You know what that was," she muttered, not meeting his gaze.

"How did you think that was going to go for you?" he chided gently. "You know we would come after you."

"I came back," she sighed. "I didn't think about it."

"Well you need to."

Ky clenched her teeth, glaring up at him.

He let out a soft sigh. That'd been the wrong thing to say. "I'm sorry... but you know how important this is. If we're going to do it, we've got to be smart about it."

She nodded.

"We planned to make sure they got safely inside, first, anyway, didn't we?"

"If we go in that Keep, we're not getting out. Ever," she sighed. She wasn't angry at him. So she wasn't going to maintain it. "And after this, I probably won't have eyes taken off me for a single moment for the rest of my fucking life. We won't be able to bleed out before they get Sera to us if that happens. We need to do it far enough from either Keep they can't get anyone to anyone fast enough. Halfway."

"Well, we're not halfway," he answered, feeling uneasy. She had a point, though. Perhaps they did need to do it soon.

(would it be good for Tadaaki to be there for whatever you have planned later or just Ky? I don't care either way)

(I think alone is best)

"Fine." Gaius shut his eyes; he was done with this conversation.
"Fine, you'll apologize?"
"Yes!"
Sara huffed out a breath as he said this, wrinkling her nose in the darkness. "Gods, darling, your breath is foul."
"Thanks for that." Gaius started to breathe through his nose and tried to focus on going to sleep.

(okay that works! Ky: *runs into the Marrow Man by herself in the middle of the night* "fml" lol)
(poor Gaius lol)

"Close enough," she muttered. "Four full days is plenty of time to bleed out, especially in this cold."

"Don't do it in front of the children..." he murmured.

"I wasn't going to," she snapped.

"They'd still have brought your body back here at the very best, and it would have traumatized them. At worst, they might have brought you back half-alive and bleeding everywhere to make it even more traumatic."

"Fine," she hissed. "I'll make sure they can't find me."

Tadaaki sighed.