black roses

Black roses
___________

It's true
You reap what you sew
And all I have to show
Is a black rose garden

Everyone Morns the black roses
Beautyfuly dangerus looking
But deadly to the touch
These thorns cut
And they cut deep
I just have to weep

I sit here cut and bruised
Have I lost?
Can I replant these seeds and see
A new garden
A new me?

Everyone Morns the black roses
Beautyfuly dangerus looking
But deadly to the touch
These thorns cut
And they cut deep
I just have to weep

No more
I refuse to give in
I'm giving it my all
Soon those black petals will fall
I WILL stand tall

Everyone morns the black roses
No more
I'm replating
Putting down stronger deeper roots
And the black will turn to white
I have to weep
This time in happyness
No more

Black roses
Black roses
Black roses Fall

Krystalstars,


Please read the rules before posting in the forums. YWS does not generate critiques autonomously--critiques come from members who must take the time out of their lives to read and question a piece. As such, posting your works without first reviewing the works of others defeats the purpose of YWS.


Good luck,
Brad

I did review others work...... 2 people's just like you said.

The ratio would generally go like this:

Review 2 pieces of work ---------> You may submit 1 piece of work.

When the site is operated like this, it works much more effectively.

Well, since this is actually not the appropriate place to discuss this topic, I won't go further on it.

Here's my critique, regardless:

I'm glad to see that the poem does have meaning and is not just a jumble of words that sound right together. There are a few spelling mistakes that should be fixed but I like the poem, nonetheless.

As always,

POKE

Thanks! This is one of my favorites, next to "Fade Away."

This is very good, is there a message in it? Even if there isnt i xreally liked it, and im now gonna go read more of your stuff

Well....there's kinda a message. I wrote this after my father passed away so I think it's kinda about getting tired of feeling like Crap and standing tall...

this question is sincere, i'm honestly not trying to by sarcastic... did you mean to capitalize each "morns", and spell "beautyfuly" like that? i'm just wondering because my friend always says beauty-fully, almost like two words, and it reminded me of her. very nice, in any case.

Probably not...when it comes to grammar I suck......