Dragons, Dystopians, and Denial

Well, he didn't eat meat. How was Elias supposed to know that Jerica wanted to put raw pieces in the stew and not the salty dried pieces she had yesterday? He didn't understand why she'd use raw pieces, and... where would they even get raw meat, anyways? Killing an animal? That thought horrified him.

Elias decided to not press it, though. It wasn't worth bringing up, and she seemed okay with continuing to eat vegetables. That was good enough for now.

He hesitated before grabbing the rum, ignoring her snark comment that it had no meat. Obviously.

The last time he drank, it felt poisonous, like it wasn't distilled right or it was meant to be for medicinal use only. It made him feel sick for days. He didn't want to repeat that, but at the same time, a drug to numb his mind was appealing.

"Back at the town, I thought you stole this and that was why everyone was attacking you," he said blankly, still staring at the bottle.

"No." She smirked. "I paid for it. Barkeeps don't put a bottle of liquor in your reach until they have the coins in their pocket."

Jerica pulled various vegetables out of the saddlebags and walked back to the fire with one of the small pots she'd bought in town. At this point, the only big thing that Elias didn't know about her was her military rank -- so there was no point in hiding her grudge with Femola from him.

"Femola is the War Lord of Nykeria and half brother to the king. The king doesn't have an heir so Femola's son, Josef, is the crown prince." At this point, she had no idea if he was understanding any of this, but she was trying to make it clear since they apparently didn't have kings in Earth. "They wanted to arrange a marriage between Josef and my cousin, Lyiaza."

She flopped down on the ground and started slicing up some potatoes.

"Problem -- for them -- is that Nykeria isn't a powerful country. There's an eligible crown prince from Lutalya and another from Alheria who are both our age, and another old one from Grivekia. All three of those countries are more wealthy and powerful and influential. We have very little to gain from an alliance with Nykeria. At least, not unless we can't get Lyiaza sold -- oop, sorry, 'married' -- to one of the useful countries."

She did air quotes. It was probably best if she didn't lead Elias to believe that princesses were actually for sale, even if it felt like that was true. Princes offered a dowry and promise of peace -- in exchange for marriage to a princess. She had yet to see what the princess got out of the arrangement.

"And we had a complicated history with Nykeria before all this. Last year my uncle sent me to assassinate Lesaf's -- he's the king-- Head Advisor because he was causing... problems. So many problems. For so many countries." Jerica shrugged. She hated every kill that she had to make, but he was one of the ones she felt least guilty about. Some people deserved to die, and he was one of them. "So I did. And then Lesaf got all pissy, as one does when their Head Advisor gets slaughtered, and was all like 'next time I see you I don't want your head connected to your body' and all that. You know how kings are."

She wasn't sure if Elias did know how kings were, but she hoped her sarcastic imitation of Lesaf gave enough of a hint.

"But we refused their marriage proposal, so they upped the dowry, and we refused again, so they started making threats about why we should want them as allies, not enemies." She started chunking up some carrots to put in the pan, still not sure what her plan for the food was. "Which was just, such a stupid move. You can't threaten countries that are more powerful than you... well, you can it just doesn't end well for you."

She moved on to the onions.

"So long story short, they brought a war to our doorstep -- and it was... a nasty affair. Wars always are. So then they brought out a sorcerer that no one else could kill, so I shot him. And then they demanded a War Council and tried to ambush us, so I killed two of their Generals. And then they brought out a shaman that beat the fuck out of me before I killed him."

She exhaled heavily, remembering that fight. It hadn't been pretty, and with Akeno's help, it probably would have ended badly.

"And they brought out a Chijurru and it was going to kill my squire. You don't threaten my squire." She said a bit more harshly than she'd meant, glowering. The Nykerians probably had killed him -- she had no way of knowing -- but she did everything she could have done to try to prevent that. "So I... jumped off the City Wall to fight the Chijurru. It was... one of the dumber things I've done in life, really."

She rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly.

"I mean, I killed it, don't get me wrong. But not before it broke my ribs and my knee and pitched me into the center of the Nykerian forces. I had two dozen swords pointed at me before I could even see straight and someone knocked me out and then..." She shook her head, refusing to dwell on the hell that'd transpired. She smiled grimly. "Let's just say, they weren't so inclined to show me mercy after the whole advisor -- sorcerer -- general -- shaman -- Chijurru deal. That's when it got personal for me."

She dumped some water in the pot and set it on top of the fire.

"Well, it got personal when they almost killed Rek. He's my..." Best friend. "Cousin. In the War Council ambush. But my grudge with Femola himself, not just Nykeria, started when he shoved his finger through my arrow wound and then decided to rip my fingernail off because I wouldn't give him information."

She sat back with a sigh and pulled her knees up so she could wrap her arms around them and look over at Elias.

"Anyway, they decided to feed me to the dragon." She smirked a bit. "But as it turned out, Kaidren doesn't just eat people indiscriminately. So I've been staying with Aerik the past... several months, I've lost track of exactly how long. But the Nykerians assumed I was dead. So, it was a bit of a, heh, shock -- to both of us -- when I ended up toe to toe with Femola earlier. I'm fairly certain we're both at the very tip-top of each others' shit list."

She plucked at some grass next to her leg.

"I almost settled that score." She sighed, frustrated that she hadn't quite been able to finish the job. "I will kill that bastard someday. But I promised Aerik I'd get you to Crevon alive. Didn't seem fair to go after a grudge just then."

"Anyway." She met his gaze and smirked a bit. "It wasn't the rum."

Elias didn't think Jerica would talk and talk and talk, practically revealing her entire life story. At least... he thought she did. It was hard to understand since he didn't know these people, and he didn't know the names of the lands. It was hard to follow along and fully understand.

While she was talking, Elias took a shy sip of the rum. It wasn't that great to taste, but most things weren't. He just wanted to slip into the calm dulling of his mind.

At least, that was what he was expecting. Most safe drugs he had access to did exactly that. It helped his anxiety and his nerves. It made life bearable.

The rum seemed to do the opposite of that, but not in a bad way.

He took a deep breath, letting the savory smell of the vegetables fill his lungs.

When she finished, he had already taken many sips of the rum already, and he then looked down at her hands.

"...You got your fingernail ripped off?" he asked, squinting real hard to focus.

"That's what you took from all that? Seriously?" She'd just told him about an entire war, and he was most interested in her fingernail? She took the rum from him and took a long drink. She was going to need it to get through this conversation. "But, yeah... My thumb." She wiggled her thumb as she spoke. "He shoved a dagger to the quick and then wrenched it up."

She cringed, remembering how badly it had hurt. She'd take having an arrow pass all the way through her shoulder again over a single attack more on her nails. She took another swig of the rum and passed the bottle back to Elias.

Elias decided to ignore (well, not ignore -- he didn't really listen) Jerica's snark and leaned in. With one hand, he took the rum, and with the other, he grabbed her hand of the thumb she wiggled and then stared down at.

"It doesn't look missing," he mumbled, staring down at her thumb.

Jerica resisted the urge to yank her fist up and bust him in the nose as she'd usually do if someone grabbed her hand like this. Instead, she pulled the rum out of his hand and took another long drink before she sighed deeply and said, "Thanks for finding it."

Elias smiled. Probably a little too wide, but it felt right.

"You're welcome," he said, letting go of her hand.

He leaned back on his hands, staring at the food that was sizzling. His head felt a little spinny, and his cheeks felt warm.

"So, an assassin," he said casually, but didn't elaborate.

Jerica took another drink of the rum and looked at him for a long moment. Her tolerance was frustratingly high, but it was starting to take the edge off his stupid questions.

"Yes, assassin," she agreed flatly. "Why?"

"So you're ordered to kill people," Elias explained like it was obvious. "But do you get anything out of it? Or are you forced to do it?"

"I mean..." She rubbed the scar on her hip, thinking about what happened when she didn't do as she was told. She took another drink. "Biryn doesn't hurt me if I do what he asks, so I guess I get that? What else would I get?"

Elias nodded like he understood. Because, even in this state, he did understand.

"Well, Beirania has more freedom than Earth," he said, staring up at the stars. They held different patterns than on Earth, and it made him wonder if Earth was up there somewhere in the litter of stars.

"And money exists here. So I thought you got money or something."

"Princesses don't need money." She smirked at him. "I've got food and clothes -- I don't need anything else... and I'm not allowed to have anything else, money or no."

She sobered a bit, thinking back to the sorry state of her bedroom. She really was a machine. Furnature. Clothes. A handful of books Uncle Zander had smuggled her. And... that was it.

"But, no," she answered gently, staring at the ground. "Money isn't worth it. If I could quit I would. But it's... not a job. It's just... my life."

"Right," Elias said with a smirk of his own. "Princess Jerica. How could I forget."

But then his smile faded, his eyes still fixed on the vast sky above him. He felt so small staring up at the night sky when on Earth, but now that he knew that other realms existed, he felt even smaller, like he was insignificant in the universe and its infinite time and space.

"I was going to kill myself, but I somehow came here instead," he said, his voice faraway as he tried to study the stars. "It took me a few years to figure out how to do it right, but I guess fate had other plans for me."

He smiled, just a little, letting the sky fall down on him.

"Maybe fate has other plans for you, too."

Jerica looked at him sympathetically. "I'm sorry you got to that point... I got a bit reckless after they hurt Rek... I wanted to avenge him so I didn't let anyone kill me, but I was hoping they would."

She sighed, taking another drink of the rum. Her head was finally starting to buzz pleasantly. She smiled grimly. "What a sorry lot we are. Maybe we'll be good for each other."

The words after her apology resonated past the inebriation, and it seemed to pluck an old string he didn't want to be played. Elias's smile faded, and he sat up straight, setting his elbows on his cross-crossed knees.

"I sure hope so," he said, reaching for the rum in her hands and took another swig. It sloshed down his throat like water this time.

He let out a satisfied sigh and looked back with her, giving her a shy lopsided-smile.

"What's Rex like?" he asked.