The Fateful Heart 2

Even though the paper was weightless, the note felt heavier on her lap. The words felt heavy too. And the memories from last night.

None of it felt repressed, though.

"Do you remember the words I said?" she asked gently even though she could feel her heart thump against her chest. She had prepared all morning for this. It'll be okay.

James felt anxiety creeping upon him, and he found himself holding tightly onto the blanket, underneath it.

"I'm not sure," he admitted. "I... I feel like I only remember a few things. Just... a few phrases."

He already felt his face starting to burn - but his whole face was already burning. From the fever.

"Your happiness is my happiness," he repeated it like he was saying it for the first time, but he felt like he'd said it before.

"And... that you like me... and you... want me... too."

Getting the words out felt like labor. He really hoped that part wasn't a fever dream.

"And you almost went back..." he whispered. "I think. You said almost. And I was worried about you."

Evaline quietly listened, feeling her hands tense on her lap with each passing word.

James was right. Those were all the things she said. She didn't know how much he remembered and how much he meant his own words last night, but...

She had meant every word.

It was hard to read him. His still looked sick and confused, burning up from his body fighting whatever sickness and exhaustion caught up to him. Maybe it was better to postpone the highlight of yesterday's conversation for later.

She felt her stomach do little flips, still gazing at his sweating face and feeling a little warm herself.

"Yes," she said, although she still sounded uncertain. "I said that, and I did almost..."

Her fingers rubbed against the edge of the note. She had wanted to talk to him about that first, but of course, he'd want to talk about the conversation first.

"I also said that I wanted to stay in Nye," she blurted out, deciding to transition into it while also revealing a truth he had forgotten. She paused.

"With you."

Another pause, her voice a little deeper and quieter.

"Because of you."

James stared up at her, and he felt like his face had to have been beet red if it wasn't already.

"I want you to stay too," he said softly.

But it was the because of you that was pooling in his chest, making him feel a different kind of warmth than just the fever.

Evaline took a deep breath, trying to loosen the tightness in her chest. Her eyes were searching his like she was looking for an answer, but all she received in return was the same softening face he gave her yesterday.

"I know," she said just as soft, remembering James said the same thing yesterday.

She then carefully unfolded the note, flattening the creases on her lap and breaking their lingering eye contact so she could stare down at it.

"I've been wanting to stay for a while now," she said after a brief hesitation, her eyes flitting to the bottom side of the paper. "And there were lots of reasons I didn't want to open up and be vulnerable. But I can say, one of them is because of the note, and its implications of what were to happen if we did open up."

She picked up the note and held it in front of her.

"I don't know when it appeared, but there's a new verse now."

With a deep breath, she began to read it out loud.

two souls forever bound
what once was lost has now been found
linked together as a sign
that transcends space, and worlds, and time
you did have a choice from the start
on how and when and where to part
but this fate rests in both your hands
as one you must share the desire
for two hearts joined, this spell requires

When finished, she slowly set the paper beside him if he wanted to see it, and then sat straight again, watching for his reaction.

James's brows furrowed slightly as she read the verse while his mind immediately started working through the interpretation, piecing together what it meant. He took in a deep breath and forced himself up into a sitting position, even though it caused his head to spin and throb, and he picked up the note, looking at it. The blanket slid down to his waist as he pulled out his arms and brought the note closer, so he could see it for himself.

It only took him a few seconds to scan it.

"So... so it's saying we both have to wish for you to go back? It's that simple?"

The blanket slid down his chest, and naturally Evaline's eyes flitted over to his chest to see if any blood bled through to the bandages. To her relief, they were clean. But maybe she should not have been surprised since Edna was a doctor. If she had to stitch it, she couldn't guarantee it would keep its tension overnight, nevertheless a week.

"I don't know," she said, tearing her eyes to stare back at the note he picked up to study. "Maybe. That's what it seems like."

It meant she didn't have to worry about either of them accidentally oversharing.

But most of all, it meant that all of this -- their entire time together -- was brought up by the ruse of a note that only teased them.

"So the whole thing about opening your heart--" James started, flipping the note back over to the original verse, looking at it with furrowed brows. "Was just to--"

He flipped it over again, then again, and read the whole thing through as one whole poem. He gripped the paper tightly in both hands (almost spitefully, because he knew it wouldn't break) and read the last verse over and over again.


"...So that's it, then. It's basically saying 'nevermind,' then."

He gripped the paper ever tighter before relenting his grip and sighing. He slouched forward, holding his face in one hand and offered the note back to Evaline with the other.

"I don't know who or what wrote this whole thing, but at this point, I'm just relieved you going home doesn't hinge on us accidentally or intentionally spilling our secrets."

Evaline hesitated before reaching out to take the note again. She carefully folded it back to its original creases and then placed it on her lap.

James seemed disappointed.

She used to be angry and mortified that a note had written out demands for her to follow if she wanted to return to Earth. Now, there were no demands. Just a simple instruction: they both had to want it.

And neither of them wanted it. He didn't want her to go back, and neither did she.

Evaline was relieved that the note had changed to reflect this. Of course, there was a little bit of doubt and annoyance since it seemed to lead them astray, but the relief outweighed the negativity.

"To be honest, I'm not upset," she said, still looking down at the folded paper in front of her. "About the note existing, I mean. Who knows where we would be now if we didn't start with this note."

She did despise the note before she had forgotten about it and merely used it as a bookmark. But now, she was almost... grateful.

It led her to James.

James sat with his head in his hands for a moment, but then slowly turned his head to look at Evaline. He had his arms crossed over his knees, and his cheek squished against his arms. He could feel his body beginning to protest against the position.

His side, aching. The skin, pulling against the stitches. His head, still throbbing.

But he focused his eyes on Evaline's face. Her blue eyes, and the dark hair that framed them. Her hair was still loose from the night before when one of the kids had undone her braid. Though he enjoyed the closeness of getting to braid her hair, it did look lovely down, and she probably wasn't even aware of how nice it looked. She didn't seem aware at all, that she was beautiful - unless, maybe, she was only pretending. But that would only be a pointless, elaborate ruse.

He wondered what that was like, to not really care how others perceived you. At least, physically.

As the thought passed through his mind he seemed to suddenly become aware of the fact that he was still exposed. Yes, bandaged up, but lacking a shirt, and now sweaty from a fever.

His face was already flushed, but a different kind of embarrassment washed over him, and his eyes flicked to the floor of the tent. A simple straw mat, weaving beneath them.

He had to drag his mind back to what she'd said before.

The poem. The directions. The fact that things were... okay, now. There really was no rush. They could take their time. They didn't have to worry about saying too little, or too much. They could just enjoy each other.

"You're right," he finally said, looking back up at her and lifting his head off his arms. He sat up straighter, feeling his head get lighter. What he would give to not be sick right now. "The note brought you."

He reached out, gently resting his hand over hers - both hands, over the folded note - knowing that touch meant a lot to her.

"And for that reason alone, I can only be grateful."

His soft words should have flustered her.

But it didn't.

Evaline looked down at James's hand on hers, and she couldn't help but notice how warm he felt. Warm and sticky, from the residue of the jam last night.

She didn't mind it. She slowly turned her palms around so that she'd be holding his hands and not the note. They both had sweaty palms, with his hands being hot and rough while hers were cold and clammy.

There certainly was a lot they hid from each other, and it wasn't just backstories.

The five words he said that caused her to almost spiral back in time echoed in her head. Not as separate words, but as a phrase -- a noisy string of words that blurred together, but the sentiments were still there.

She wondered if James truly meant it. And if he did, she wondered if he meant to say it out loud for her to know. And if not, she wondered if he was sorry he said it, especially given her reaction.

"There's a lot to discuss," she said softly, looking down and brushing her thumb against his. "But right now, I want you to get better. You have a fever, and it seems like it's here to stay. Edna told us we can stay longer, and I don't want us to leave until your health is improved."

She gave him a small squeeze and then lifted her head to gaze back at him, offering a shy smile. Her cheeks felt warm and rosy like his.

"Let me take care of you. Okay?"

James stared up at her for a moment, taking in a deep breath. She was right that he was sick - beyond the point of forcing himself to get better. He knew he actually needed to rest, especially when he couldn't even sit up without his head doing flips.

"Okay," he said softly, pushing back all of the voices in his mind telling him that by being sick, he was being a burden. Maybe he was, but Evaline said she wanted to take care of him. She wanted to. It was okay.

He slowly pulled his hand away and started to lie back down.

"I feel like I'm burning up and freezing all at once," he said with a weak little laugh. "I guess one last stab wound was all it took to do me in."

"You've been pushing yourself," Evaline said, leaning over to set the note on the ground. "The stab wound might have started this, but sooner or later, your body would've protested against the pain and exhaustion. It's better for it to happen now than later."

She sat down by his side, leaning on one hand as she stared at James's sweating forehand. She set her free hand down on it, then brushed his hair back again. "You're still hot," she murmured, mostly to herself. He was hotter than yesterday, but she didn't want to tell him that in fear that it would concern him.

After brushing his hair out of his face, she wiped the sweat off her pants and then set the plate with the croissant on her lap.

"You should eat. Or at least, try to. You won't get better unless you eat."

She handed him the croissant.

"I can get you something more filling soon."

James took the croissant, even though he didn't want it, and he wasn't hungry. He wasn't going to be a child about it, so he took a bite, but it wasn't enjoyable.

Being cared for felt wrong, no matter how many times he tried to rationalize it in his head. He hated feeling helpless like this, and he hated feeling like... well, a burden. To Evaline, and to everyone at the Oasis, who probably hadn't signed up to take on a sick man into their care.

He waited until he was finished chewing.

"I haven't been sick like this in a long time," he said quietly, more to himself than anything.

Evaline watched James take the croissant and bite into it. Satisfied, she turned away and got up to her feet to shuffle around the tent and grab some supplies. Some clean wash cloths, a new shirt Edna gave her, and anything he could do to pass the time when awake. Right now, the only things that came to mind were the journal and the two books he already read. She made a mental reminder to later ask Edna if the oasis had any books they could borrow. She knew James would like that. Maybe she could surprise him with it.

"It happens to the best of us," she said, kneeling in front of the corner with all of their items. "If you're going to be sick, it's a good thing you're sick now. We're safe, well-fed, and comfortable."

She paused. "Emphasis on the comfortable. It's nice to not sleep on dirt or sand for once... Speaking of, how did you sleep last night?"