A Dead Man's Intuition

In retrospect, I probably should have guessed that was what he was talking about.

But in the moment, me missing the point was the last thing on my mind.

"I've been trying to help you," I said, exasperated. Not wanting our unconscious friend on the ground to wake up while we were talking, I grabbed some rope from Reed's packs and got to work tying her to the nearest tree I could find. "Don't you get it? I was going to leave you alone, but then Carter showed up and I wasn't going to let you get caught after everything I've already done for you! That would just be stupid."

“Stupid how?” James retorted, his voice growing a little more hoarse. “Stupid because if I actually got caught after all the ‘hard work’ you did to save me, then you’d feel guilty? Is all of this just to make you feel better about yourself? So you don’t feel as bad for torturing and toying with me? Well consider it a success!”

He threw his hands up into the air and let them slap down on his thighs and turned around, hanging his head low.

“You can go run off to wherever it is absolved of all guilt because ‘hooray!’ The wanted man survived! What a fun story to go tell your other world friends!”

On ‘friends’ his voice finally cracked. He’d been fighting to keep it steady, but his throat was in knots. He swallowed hard and spun back around to glare at Skull.

I glared at him and crossed my arms.

"I didn't want to torture you!" I exclaimed, exasperated. "I had to. I can possess people, sure. But you saw what happens when I try doing anything more than that! I pass out. If I had tried fighting Butch back when I first possessed Reed, he would have gotten me. If I had tried possessing Butch, Reed could have gotten me! I would have never been able to get you and me out there. Me, maybe. But you? You wouldn't have stood a chance."

I marched over to Tony, depositing the extra rope back into his pack before spinning back around to face Tiberius.

"So, yes, I tortured you," I said. "I pretended to be Reed. But you got off easy compared to what Reed was going to do to you. I barely cut you - you apparently didn't notice, but everywhere I cut you would heal easily or bleed a lot. And when there was a lot of blood, Butch thought I was doing a good job - even when Reed would have cut you a hundred times worse."

I went to get onto to Tony, ready to leave all of this behind, but then I remembered I needed to grab the blankets from the clearing. Even though I didn't want to get anywhere near Tiberius right now, I stormed past him and grabbed the blankets I had set up for myself what felt like an eternity ago.

Mid-walk back, I stopped in front of Tiberius - arms still laden with blankets. I didn't care how stupid I looked at the moment.

"I wasn't going to say anything," I said. "Just so you know. I'm sure Oliver felt terrible for you before he let you go, but at least I know what I did wrong. I know how compliant I was in what happened to you. Trust me - I'm not proud of what I did in the slightest. I'm not trying to score points with you. I just don't want you to think I'll be bragging about this anyone. As far as I care? This whole thing never happened."

I started to try shoving the blankets into the pack, but realized a few moments in that they'd never fit as they currently were.

James’s glare slowly faded as Skull spoke, and he stood blank-faced again as Skull marched back and forth to grab the blankets and put them away. When Skull explained the practical and realistic reasons for why he didn’t interfere, James knew in his gut he understood, but he only felt much like his side did when he tore open the wound.

Aggravated, and hurting.

Reed would have cut you a thousand times worse did not feel like words of comfort. It felt like he was being called weak, and pitiful. Maybe he was. Maybe he was overreacting, and should’ve been like Skull - pretending the whole thing never happened.

But things were never that easy in reality.

James stood still for a moment before turning to Elliot in a choppy, robotic manner. He could feel tears pricking at his eyes and he didn’t want anyone to see, and especially not Skull, who he still didn’t know quite how he felt about.

He got back in the saddle, clenching his jaw to keep from showing more of what he was feeling on his face. If Skull wanted to forget about him, he could leave first.

Groaning, I settled for spreading the blanket out on the ground and trying to fold it. I couldn't remember how Reed had it in the pack earlier - maybe he had tried rolling it up instead. Whatever the case was, folding it up was surprisingly hard.

I paused mid-fold, glancing back over at Tiberius. He had made it clear that he wanted me to go multiple times. Even if I wanted to help him, he wasn't going to let me anymore. I had lost that right the moment he found out what I had done to him.

As James got situated in his saddle, he felt his shirt stick to his side a little - wet and warm. He exhaled slowly and shifted his arm in an attempt to conceal whatever blood might’ve been leaking through without drawing too much attention to it and clicked his tongue.

Elliot started forward, slowly.

“Goodbye, Skull,” he said quietly.

I looked up at him.

"Bye-" I started to say, only to pause when I saw the blood seeping through his shirt. I gave him a deadpan look that he couldn't see at the moment; did he really think I'd just let him go if he had opened his wound again? He probably didn't, given that he was trying - and failing - to hide it.

The blanket lay forgotten - and unfolded - as I went over to him and his horse.

"You opened your wound again," I accused him.

James didn't stop. Elliot kept walking forward. James relaxed his face into a neutral expression and remained upright on Elliot.

"Yeah, well, that happens when you get pulled off your horse sometimes," he replied matter-of-factly. He refused to show how much it was hurting, especially after Skull had said he had intentionally tried to hurt him in a way that 'wasn't that bad.'

I went back to where I had been folding my blankets. Throwing them over Tony's back, I got back onto him - and immediately went back over to where Tiberius was.

"I'm staying with you, then," I said. "I know I said I'd leave you alone, but you keep reopening that wound. I'm staying until it gets better."

James didn't look at Skull, but he saw Skull ride up next to him in the corner of his eye. He kept his eyes straight ahead.

He'd been hoping Skull would leave him alone so he could stop and figure out a way to stop the bleeding again. But Skull wanted to stay.

He still felt tears threatening to well up in his eyes and his throat was still tight. He didn't know how long he could keep his walls up without looking like the poor, pitiful person Skull probably already believed him to be.

He clenched his jaw and sighed through his nose.

"... I'll be fine," he mumbled.

"If you don't let me come with you," I said, "I'm going to..."

I faltered, suddenly realizing I didn't have a good threat to follow that up with. What could I do to stop him from leaving? It wasn't like I could threaten him, and promising to care for his wounds was what I was already trying to do.

"...possess your horse," I uncertainly said.

I paused.

...In retrospect, I probably should have said I'd possess him, but I had dug my metaphorical grave. If it came down to it, I'd have to possess his horse.

"Once I do," I added, trying to make the threat seem legitimate, "I'll stop him from going anywhere. You'll have to let me go with you if you want to leave this clearing on a horse."

I glanced down at Tony. I was starting to getting into this! It was a terrible idea, but I was making it good.

"And you won't be able to ride away on Tony, either," I said. "He wouldn't betray me like that."

Whatever emotions had been gripping his throat faded once Skull threatened to possess Elliot. James's brows drew together, and his mouth opened a little as he squinted over at Skull in disbelief. This was a very different level of desperate. Possess his horse?

He gave Skull a look of scrutiny.

Wait. Tony?

"She," he corrected. "Your horse is a she."

I faltered.

"What?" I said. I glanced down at the horse in question. "Tony's a girl?"

Tony, in response, gave a neigh - almost as if she was chiding me for missing the obvious. In my defense, it wasn't like I had exactly looked to see what gender my horse was. And Reed hadn't been all that good to her, either; he had just called Tony an "it" when referring to her in his head.

Well, it wasn't like I could change her name now. I had gotten to know her as Tony for an entire week!

“Yes, she’s a girl,” James replied. Clearly Skull didn’t know much about horses, or didn’t care enough to pay attention. “And you very well may be overestimating her loyalty.”

"Tony wouldn't betray me," I insisted.