The Sounds of Minds

James turned around to the man who, admittedly, was saying something he would've said if he weren't beside himself and had kept his mouth shut a little longer. He practically glared at him, though it wasn't his intention to direct all of his anger at one of the people who was, after all, in the same boat with him. He drew his gaze to the ground, and bit his tongue. He would comply, but he was going to choose when he was going to speak. He begrudgingly got up slowly and approached the others and sat down a few feet away from the reasonable one. He sat with his legs crossed, and his elbows resting on his knees as he leaned forward. He stared ahead with an angry frown carved into his features.

"Then start us off," he said bitterly. "I've already grown sick of this place."

He crossed his arms and tried to walk away from the place where Kratzer had sat down - which was actually surprisingly close to where he was currently fuming after his conversation with the man he still didn't know the name of. "I don't want to sit down and reveal all my secrets," he said. He looked away from everyone else. At least it had been close to what he was trying to say that time. "People are depending on me to keep them safe. I don't have any right to share those secrets, especially when Pres can't say if it's the right thing to do."

Because I still haven't figured out a way to help him. Because I'm still stuck in this stupid body. Because I've been letting myself relax instead dedicating all of my time to tracking down Cassius Jones.

He couldn't help it. Tears started to slide down his cheeks for the second time in less than five minutes; just the thought of Pres right now made him a mess. The thought of Pres any time made him a mess, but he had been good at pushing the thoughts back when around Raptor and Bartimaeus.

"Everything just feels so hopeless," he said, not meaning to admit that aloud. He sniffled and frantically rubbed away the tears with his sleeves. "I-I haven't even got to talk to Pres for an entire week, and every time I feel like I'm finally making progress something takes that away."

"Then don't, but know that you're unlikely to be able to keep those secrets for long," Kratzer replies with a slight shrug.

Cornyx sits down obediently, silent.

Kratzer's words were harsh, but they were the wake up call that he needed. He wasn't going to be able to keep his secrets here. Why should he even try? He wiped more tears away and went to join the others. Sitting down in the circle felt like a stupid, pointless thing to do, but he knew that they had to start somewhere.

"This reminds me of the first math club meeting," he blurted out. "I kept telling Pres that it was stupid, but he forced me to help push the desks into a circle and then join them there."

At least he hadn't said what the math club really was.

While he was still in somewhat control of what he was saying, he decided to start with his name - just like Kratzer had suggested. "I'm Marius of Britannia, but everyone calls me Puck - except for Raptor and Bartimaeus. They're convinced my name is Dresden, but that's an entirely different story right there."

He blinked at the circle that had gathered around him. It reminded him of his crew's alchoholic counseling circles that he had always frowned at.

"Uhm- I'm Finch." He waved a little and gently pushed Gem off his lap, "I'm actually glad to be here- great hiding place, considering even I don't know where I am."

"M-m-m-my n-name is C-Cornyx," the tall, dark-haired boy stutters by way of introduction. "I h-hate my stutter and I find you a-a-all very intimidating." As the words come out of his mouth his eyes widen with shock and embarrassment, the vampire across from him seeming slightly amused.

James looked to the last man who'd yet to make and introduction apart from himself, silently waiting for him to do so. He was not eager to make his own introduction, and didn't look forward to whatever else would spill out when he spoke.

Finch leaned back against the tree as introductions were being made. He had pulled down his high collar, absently scratching at several circular scabs that encircled his neck in a ring. He watched the other men warily from half-lidded eyes.

Around this time, Gem had been skirting slowing around behind the circle of people. Something had caught her eye, and she wanted it- badly. She approached the bearded man's side, and in one swipe, snatched a knife from where it was peeking out of his clothes. She ran back to Finch, setting it in his lap primly.

He frowned down at the raccoon, and opened his mouth to scold her.

"What have I said about picking and choosing your opportunities? Now give the knife back to the nice man or it will look like I'm encouraging your behavior. Which I am."

Gem stared at him blankly. He grabbed the knife from his lap and held it out hilt first to who he had boiled down as the most aggressive man in the group.

"Here you are, sir. Pardon my raccoon- I'll pretend to punish her later."

At this point, he wasn't even trying to warp the words he used. He figured that he would just say what his mouth would allow and embrace their consequences.

James swiped the knife back with one quick motion, his frown only deepening as he refused to verbally reply.

Kratzer watched the exchange with relative indifference before introducing himself, since everyone else had and it was only fair that he did as well. "I'm Engel Jäger, but most call me Kratzer," he says.

James waited only a few seconds before swooping in with his brief introduction.

"I'm James H-" his voice caught in his throat as he fought against the truth yet again, before reluctantly submitting so it a moment later. "Hawke. James Hawke."

"Cool name," Puck said, giving a big toothy grin a second later. "Oh, hey! I actually said something I'm okay with saying. Nice." It really was a reason to be smiling from ear to ear. Almost everything he had said since he had arrived here had been deeply personal things. It just felt good to say something he wanted to say.

"Also," he said, already regretting the words that were coming out of his mouth, mainly because he had no intentions of voicing his thoughts in the first place, "do I really seem that intimidating? I know I've got the tall, dark and dangerous look going for me, but I thought my personality might help a bit. It's not like I've tried threatening anyone here. That's when I tend to be downright terrifying."

"Y-yes," he says, involuntarily answering the question with the truth instead of his usual, polite disengagement. "B-but it's not y-y-y-your fault, I just have security issues."

"Same here." Finch piped up against his will, glancing wearily at the other boy. He twisted his legs so he was sitting Indian-style, and held on to Gem's scruff so that she couldn't run off and get into more trouble.

"Well I'm not trying to look friendly," James said, finding his words entirely different than he'd expected them to come out. He'd meant to say some kind of half-assed apology to make them less wary. It wasn't working.

"I'm sick of pandering to other people's preferences and being something I'm not, and putting on fake smiles just to keep the peace. It's bloody politics and I'm sick of all the fake sh*t I hear all the goddamned time. And hell, I know here it's different, but if I'm unhappy I'm going to damn well be unhappy. There's no use in pretending I'm not since my words betray me anyway. So, sorry if that makes you uncomfortable."