cocoa hands

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"Journeys to relive your past?" was the Khan's question at this point, a question which could also have been formulated: "Journeys to recover your future?"
- Italo Calvino, Invisible Cities


giving it a go! who knows how far (or how near) I may get.
Last edited by hexglass on Thu Apr 06, 2017 11:26 am, edited 1 time in total.




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Ahhhh yyeees <3 I love the imagery and the form and the rhythmns, just ahh <3 My favorites though being the pleading, very good jobs on those repetitions. I found them perfectly paced.




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That was a lovely poem. I don't get how you write so good off the top of your head--but anyway, the imagery you used was lovely and I love your word choice here.

I used 'love' a lot I realize, haha.

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I am already a fan, beautiful imagery here! I love the lines about words sewn into skin & language indented into bone. Looking forward to reading your next one!
you should know i am a time traveler &
there is no season as achingly temporary as now
but i have promised to return




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Get #2 published! :3 Seriously.

You have me with your very first line, way to command.

I am a sucker for these kind of storyteller, "let me tell you a story" kind of openings and the premise of "we hold cities within ourselves" is like catching someone hook, line and sinker. What a cool way to empower, embolden, and capture the imagination in one line.

I like the way you've captured adventure in all these lost cities, the way that the poem thrives in its love of language (colesbukta to collarbone is striking) and the conclusion of it all as a gesture of self-love delivered through extended metaphor is satisfying in how it delivers what it promises. That line--the sun forgets not one of us that I wish to frame somewhere, that is beautiful <3) It's the kind of thing you read over and over until you find yourself living it, it is far and away something that needs to be printed for the ages somewhere in a book. I am in love <3




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oh, Audy, thank you <3

this really means a lot to me, and I'm so happy that you liked it! Honestly, I adore storyteller openings as well (so this was very self-indulgent), so I'm glad to have been able to share that with you. :^)

the self-love was a concept I didn't realise I was aiming for until I started writing it, but it became such a central part of this poem -- I'm very thankful that it came through, for you! Your words are incredibly kind, I truly appreciate it. This poem has a special place in my heart. Thank you for stopping by!!




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This poem is short...but really, really powerful. I'm kind of imagining a moonlit party here.
always daydreaming, always clumsy




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Image
Last edited by hexglass on Thu Apr 06, 2017 11:48 am, edited 1 time in total.




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Everything has a consequence and every consequence leads to death.
— kattee