Sirius Black is Gay (UPDATED!)

She's too devious though.

True, true. She just seemed... Hufflepuffy hehe.

And ha! Lupin's in love! *laughs*

Or is he?? *fisheyes*

Don't censor yourself. It's BITCH, dammit!

So you are allowed to swear on here? I wasn't sure if I'd be like shunned or something equally melodramatic

Nope, if it's in a literary piece, you're allowed to swear, as long as you rate your story appropriately. We just like to keep the community forums clean, you know?

This is really, really funny. My ex is lucky I can't seem to be mad at him - I'm sure I could pull off a fun prank like this. I'd enjoy it immensely.

I can't wait for part three!

omg, that was sooo fun to read. i can't wait to see more!

I really like it. It's quite a witty title actually because you think it's going to be all Sirius/Remus or Sirius/James. And then it's just a completely different story.

I love Angie's character, by the way, kind of reminds me of Georgia Nicolson. Also the duo of Angie and Callie remind me of Fred and George.

Tie-ti-tie-tie.

Hey Maggie! I can't wait for the next update of this...It always makes me laugh so hard. Interesting name choices I must say though (Angie?). *Is waiting*

Wow, I feel like such a slacker... I promise to update this eventually.... Emily or Mary you need to tie me to my computer chair until I do, or something of that likeness.

Sorry again!

Maggie! Ugh! When I saw you'd updated I got all excited, thinking you finished the story! How can you do this to me.... I want to know what happens!!!! Ok I'm done. I'm thinking I might post a story, except I've only reviewed once....

*Julia*

MAGGIE! You've got to post the update! Mreally. And Julia, I like your avatar

I'm so so so sorry guys...

I keep forgetting and putting it off. I have the first 900 words typed I just need to finish up.

I'm kinda surprised about how it's ending, totally not what I had in mind but whatever.

You'll see.

=)
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Ok! I actually have to first part the second part I'm now finishing typing and editing! Woot!

Well...here ya go!

Why didn’t I do it? I had no idea. Why in the world didn’t I go and set up my prank after he’d finally gone to dinner? I don’t know. And it’d been bugging me since.

Not being the type to back down from very many things, not following through with something so simple and so… silly as a hair dying prank was completely out of character.

“Do you think I’m possessed?” I asked my dorm at large, Celia and the other three girls I shared the room with sat up in bed.

“No.” The four girls either used to my random questions or just indifferent (I could never figure out which…) never bothered to find out what I was talking about anymore.

I smiled gratefully, “Okay thanks.” I rolled over and snuggled into my pillow.

I listened for the rustlings of blankets and sheets being squashed until perfect for sleeping and the soft whisper of Ashley turning out her wand.

-------*

“ Angie! ” whispered an urged voice, “Wake up! ” Refusing to comply I rolled over and pulled the comforter taut on my head.

“Hrmmphh,” At first I thought they’d given up, maybe to come back later and try again. Instead I felt a cold rush of air.

I let loose a roar of anguish and jumped from the sheets to get a good hold on the arms of the offending blanket snatcher, “Give me back my bloody blanket Cellie.”

Her face looked stricken and there was a small twitch in her cheek, presumably from clenching her jaw from crying. All at once I felt extremely ridiculous for making such a scene, but then I realized, she stole my blanket! That’s just low.

While grumbling words that turned air blue I bent down and grabbed my blanket and was about to climb back into my warm bed when Cellie took hold of my shoulder. “Angie…please?” I would’ve ignored her if I didn’t hear the faint sob that choked off her next words.

Sighing dramatically I turned around, “Fine, but you better be willing to kiss- Whatsmatter?” Celia’s face was an ashen red with fat tears leaking from the corners of her eyes. Automatically I wrapped her into a tight hug. “Oh man, what…?”

She started shaking and a muffled noise was coming from her mouth that was smashed against my shoulder. “Hhee… Emus ‘nd…’nd Rius, ‘hey ‘ere…’ere, KISSING!” I pushed her away from me.

“Who was kissing? Who , Cell?”

“Remus and…and Sirius!”

I felt my jaw literally fall, “S-sirius? My Sirius?” ‘ My Sirius? Where did that come from…?’ Celia bobbed her head sadly.

“I don’t get it Angie…what happened? I thought…I though he liked me!” I inwardly winced, ‘Ouch, now we get to the heart of the issue…’

I pulled her over to my bed and we both sat down in silence for a few moments. She rested her head on my shoulder.

“Wow…I can’t believe that he’s actually… gay… Kind of ironic now isn’t it?” I winked and Celia let loose a small smile.

“Yeah it is, ha, I guess you actually were helping him…” I felt the jovial air dense.

“Yeah,” I agreed, “Yeah…you’re right.” Cellie opened her mouth to say something.

“What do you say we go get some breakfast, eh? There should be some nice pancakes left… maybe we’ll get lucky and find some Noutella.” I jumped from the bed and started to the closet, “Yeah, some Noutella, some ice cream… a few cookies maybe? Yum, yeah, yeah, that’s what we’re going to do… Make a little visit to the elves.” I yanked out a pair of comfortable, worn jeans and my rusty brown colored sweatshirt that I wear when I’m sick and like to sit around without giving a hippogriffs hindquarters about how I look.

I grabbed a ponytail holder out of the communal desk drawer and slammed it shut. Then I took the holder and threw my blond tangled mass into a messy bun.

I side-stepped in front of the mirror and stared at my reflection for a moment. Pale porcelain skin dusted with tiny freckles and darkly flushed cheek bones, blue-gray eyes edging more towards a decadent steel color, and whitish lips, a poignant look. My mouth twisted into a practiced smirk; eat your heart out Siri.

“Come on Cell, let’s go.”

“Wait!” She called and ran over and put on some lippie and a bit of mascara. She shrugged at me, “Ya never know…”
-------*

The next half will be in a new post!

The two of us made our way painstakingly slowly down the stairs to the Great Hall, pausing before actually stepping in. To both of our immense relief’s Remus and Sirius weren’t actually going public yet. Or not yet anyway, seeing that they weren’t snogging madly on top of a desk.

In truth they were far from it.

“What the hell was that!?” demanded an irate, confused Remus. “I have a girlfriend Sirius! I’m not a bloody poofter!”


For once in his life Sirius seemed at a loss for words, even more surprising was his shameful blush that was creeping slowly up his neck to his cheeks. “Moony… I don’t know what I was-” Remus held up a hand.

“Yeah…okay Sirius, I’ll…I’ll just talk to you later,” He turned away from Sirius who looked crushed and walked from the Hall.

Promptly I felt a hand on my shoulder, Cellie. Her eyes were urging me to come back to our room.

“You go up, I’ll be there in a few okay?” Understanding past over her features and she nodded.

“See ya in a bit then,” She whispered.

I turned to glance at Sirius and he stood as he had been before; feet shoulder width apart and arms dangling uselessly at his sides; his face was turned down with his deadened gaze set on the ground Remus had been standing on moments before.

“Sirius…?”

He finally seemed to come out of his reverie though his eyes held no surprise when he faced me. “I suppose you heard the whole of that?” a sour smile bit at his lips, “I fancy that your happy now. You were right, I’m a bloody poofter.” A wave of hurt came and fell away in his eyes; I knew he must be thinking of Remus’ disgusted voice when he said the same words.
“No, I’m not happy,” I was a bit appalled to think that I’d been so…pitiless that he’d think I would be happy now. “Did you really think I would be?”

He sighed resignedly, “No.”

I waited for him to continue giving my best ‘go on’ look.

“And I’m sorry for thinking you would be…” I beamed at him.

“Not to worry my dear. Now tell Auntie Angie what happened,” He cracked a small bemused smile.

“I kissed Remus.” I grunted in acknowledgement, “And he didn’t like it….”

“Mhmm.”

“And that’s it…” He sat down on the arm of the couch, “Okay…so what should I do?”

I pursed my lips in a McGonagall-ish fashion, “Well…honestly, I don’t know.” He let out an exasperated noise, “But I think if Remus is really your friend he’ll be fine with it eventually. Give him a while, it is a sort of odd way to find out you know…” We both laughed.

“So…you’re okay?” He grinned and nodded. “Good.”
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Okay, so the second parts kinda sort, but yeah...

What do you think? Do you see a sequel in the near future? Maybe?

Reviews would be loverly.

No! Serius can't be gay. You just ruined my life. *cries*

without giving a hippogriffs hindquarters about how I look

Nice. XD

The two of us made our way painstakingly slowly down the stairs to the common room, pausing before actually stepping in.

I'm confused...they're in the Hufflepuff common room, right? And Sirius and Remus are in the Gryffindor...?


And yeah. Nice twist on the ending! It made me smile.

...

*head/desk* I honestly can't take any HP fanfic stories seriously anymore, due to the fact that my friends and I formed the Marauders at school.

I really can't take this one seriously because, well, in our little Marauders group... I'm Sirius.

*head/desk again*

Anyway, surprise ending, very funny, lol. Although, I must warn you - there's like 243 pages of Sirius/Remus slash on fanfiction.net. Maybe changing it to a different person would be less cliche. Although Sirius being gay is cliche enough.

Anyway, love the light-hearted tone of all of this. Very fun.

No! Serius can't be gay. You just ruined my life. *cries*

I'm sorry Puscha. I was undecided about him until the very end. I actually wasn't planning on him being the slightest bit gay... Hmm, strange how that works.

I'm confused...they're in the Hufflepuff common room, right? And Sirius and Remus are in the Gryffindor...?

!!!

Thank you so, SO much for catching that. It totally slipped by me. *Eeeek* I changed it to Great Hall though...

And yeah. Nice twist on the ending! It made me smile.

Yay! I'm glad you liked it!

*head/desk* I honestly can't take any HP fanfic stories seriously anymore, due to the fact that my friends and I formed the Marauders at school.

I really can't take this one seriously because, well, in our little Marauders group... I'm Sirius.

*head/desk again*

Hahahaha *Dies laughing* thats so funny! I'm sorry! I'm really not implying anything about you. Haha.

Anyway, surprise ending, very funny, lol. Although, I must warn you - there's like 243 pages of Sirius/Remus slash on fanfiction.net. Maybe changing it to a different person would be less cliche. Although Sirius being gay is cliche enough.

Anyway, love the light-hearted tone of all of this. Very fun.

=) Yay! I know I've read a bunch on fanfiction.net and its actually how I got the idea. I didn't want it to be the same old story so I thought I'd try to change it a bit. I wanted to keep the SB/RL because it actually seems realistic to me. Like its almost plausable in the books. I didn't want any more uncanon characters either. Thanks for the idea though!

Thank you!

Thanks for all of the reviews! I appreciate it!

HAHA

I’m not a bloody poofter!”

Poofy things..... that's a great word.

I have an idea about a sequel...muahahaha!! Actually, I've got a few in mind.

Jack Shepherd is Gay (yay Jack/Locke)

And another one that I might not want to post on here...you never know who reads these boards. I'll tell you tomorrow.