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zoorah12

  • Short Story » Action / Adventure, General Re: Just wanted to know what you think.

    This was really good. I really liked how you kept referring back to the insect to help narrate the story, rather than just describing the scene. It made me see ...

    Fri Sep 25, 2009 3:09 pm
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Mom

    This was simple, but really good. I really miss my childhood days as well. Everything was easier back then, like you said. The world seemed much more simple. You were ...

    Sun Sep 20, 2009 6:11 pm
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Age of Time

    This poem was great. The imagery, everything was well done. It made me run my hands along my face, and contemplate time within itself. I really liked this poem. It ...

    Sun Sep 20, 2009 6:06 pm
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: The prayer for the 21st century (my version)

    This really wrestles with todays problems. You are not afraid to mention, straight up, the worlds problems. This poem is good, because it lets us know what is wrong with ...

    Sun Sep 20, 2009 6:03 pm
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: What My Life Has Become

    This is really good! I also find a close relation to it. Life does seem truly monotonous at times. However, I'm sure it will get better over time. Once you ...

    Sun Sep 20, 2009 6:00 pm
  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: The Laughing Mirror

    This is good. But, I also agree that your character is somewhat bland. Make some changes to make her a bit more original. However, you do have the works for ...

    Sun Sep 20, 2009 5:55 pm
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Zekkou - Chapter One

    Alright, so I thought you did an excellent job with description here. You painted a very clear picture in my mind. I also liked the fact that you threw the ...

    Sun Sep 20, 2009 5:52 pm
  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: Acomia- Land of Dragon Trainers

    Alright. The first thing that I noticed is a lack of description. While you do a good job describing the dragon, the piece lacks a background description of the setting, ...

    Sun Sep 20, 2009 5:47 pm
  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: No title yet... reviews appreciated

    This is really good. I really liked the fact that Drake doesn't remember his past. It allows us to learn more about him as he discovers new things about himself. ...

    Sun Sep 20, 2009 5:39 pm
  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: Twilight Skies (Excerpt)

    Well, I'm certainly not going to be as harsh as the first person who reviewed this. Everyone has to start somewhere, and the only way to get better is by ...

    Sun Sep 20, 2009 5:22 pm
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Princess On The Doorsteps -Prolouge-

    You know those old fashioned stories about babies being left on other peoples doorsteps by their parents because they No need to repeat parents can't take care of them for ...

    Fri Apr 17, 2009 1:45 pm
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Bounty hunter, prolugue

    Leaving a place you liked was never easy. I looked around the tiny apartment that had been my home for so long. The brown marble floor looked clean enough, the ...

    Fri Apr 17, 2009 1:34 pm
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Innocence Dies Young

    Wow, this is excellent. I really enjoyed it. Now, I don't usually do grammar critiques. I like to give a readers opinion to the author, not an editors. I really ...

    Sat Jan 03, 2009 5:54 pm
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: One Soul, Dual Sides, No Trio

    This is good. Apart from a few grammatical mistakes, I really enjoyed this. There were times when you would end a quote with ." so and so said. It is ...

    Sat Jan 03, 2009 4:48 pm
  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: Acquos

    Well... This is certainly an interesting story. There isn't much more I can fix differently from the people above, although I would still like to give you some advice. You ...

    Mon Dec 29, 2008 12:13 am


We are all broken. That's how the light gets in.
— Ernest Hemingway