xxcherishxx

i agree with bubblewrapped. It's way too short. It could act as a nice intro. and i think taking out the last line from the first sentence is good. Expand ...

It's a great song. Except that its a bit confusing to whether or not you want the light or the darkness. At last we see that its twilight that your ...

There is only punctuation for some of the writing in the poem. You should have them for all the lines of the poem. Also, there are many words that are ...

its a nice start. but i think you should make it longer, so that we get to see and understand more of what you're trying to capture. Having just two ...