xLogan

Yes, my character honestly expected the world to end, and I don't really see how that is significant, honestly. Obviously a president declaring himself president for life is not a ...

Thank you - hmm, thinking about it now, it is a biiit cheesy, so I can definitely agree and I will be adding more substance. Sometime soon I will continue ...

Nice little short snippit, I like it - although one thing, the closing line: The green have won. I would reword this a bit, just doesn't fit right to me.

Thanks you two! And there will definitely be a part four (I think...) haha. :)

Hey! So, here I am, ready to review part two! OK, overall, this story is pretty OK. Not really my kind of genre, but I can deal with it. I'm ...

I don't see any change but go to the last version of this story and look at all the mistakes I pointed out! :) Logan.

Thanks for reviewing, Mia. It would be nice if you would've added your opinion on the story instead of just nit-picks - but that's okay. I'll get to editing now! ...

Thanks June and Sking! There is going to be a third part and yes that was a flashback. Good idea about putting it in italics - I'll edit all of ...

I updated most of the stuff you posted, and thanks! Yes, I will definitely be making a third part. I can't even wait until I start writing it. :roll: Haha. ...

Horray! Part two is finished! It's been posted, look at original post above to get link.

I was kind of aiming for the multiple personality disorder with Margaret. Once I finish the second chapter I'll go back to this and edit it. :) Thank you everyone ...

Thanks! Yeah, I just wrote it down one day. Thanks everyone for all the suggestions. I'll get to editing this someday. :D

Yeah, I thought the same thing about the mass murderer or serial killer thing. I made Emily really intelligent for her age and much mature. Thanks for the review and ...

Yeah, she killed him. In the next part I'm adding I'll be sure to put a flashback of some kind so people for sure will know! :)

Seems empty and a bit boring. I agree with ^ add some imagery so people can imagine it. It's cool - but a bit..empty, ya' know? Logan.