wonderland

Alright, so, this has potential. THe main this is, the mood of they day didn't seem to fit the story. The beautiful day almost seemed ironic. Mocking, even. It was ...

ALright, so, I loved your beginning. To fight is to not. To not let your opponent to see your emotions, to not let them anticipate your next move. To not ...

Alright, so, that was interesting. You tell the reader, a lot. Try to show the reader, instead of telling. Also, if you're going to do multiple POV's per chapter, you're ...

Alright, so, you tell too much.The whole chapter, you just fed the reader desctiption. Give detail, not description. Paint the scene using words, and let the reader use their imagination. ...

Alright, so, I liked it. Yes, it was interesting. One thing, and this will be a rant. “Did it work?” Drake asked eagerly. That was your beginning. That beginning didn't ...

Alright, so, thank you for putting this into a readable font. Now, what I have to say is that your character seems a tad mary-sue ish. How does she know ...

Alright, so, I can't read this. I have sight troubles, and I had to zoom and squint to read. What I could pick up, though, this was super choppy. FIll ...

Alright, so, I have a question. Does your font need to be green? I have a little bit of a sight problem, so that was hard for me to read. ...

Alright, so, I was very confused in the beginning. Very, very confused. What relation do Jessica and Eden have to the main character, and how does your MC feel about ...

Alright, so, Interesting. Another thing that stood out about the scene below me was the bodies. The blood had long since dried and now perminently stained the ground where the ...

Alright, so, this was just a story to me, just a nice outline of a story. You could defiantly give more details. Always be asking yourself why anything in your ...

Alright, so, I like this, yes, it was an interesting beginning. For your first sentence I wanted to know what was going on, which is good, because thats the point ...

Alright,so, this is interesting, and its good, it's got potential. I really loved your first stanza. It was strong and I could see thr thought you put into it. Forbidden ...

Alright, so, I'm not exactly sure what to say here. I liked it, and it was good. However, I'm a leader, but a born follower. A traveler that needs to ...

Alright, so, I had me review done, and the site did that thing. Okay, so let me re do this. I seriously, really loved this. Your senses of emotion and ...