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wish123

  • Short Story » Mystery / Suspense, General Re: Years without him

    I agree with the others. Your premise is strong and could be developed into a great short story. I'll just review and apply some techniques to make your narrative more ...

    May 30, 2015
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Girls Tell Me Things

    Hi, I am also a bit confused. Instead I'll review the structural aspects. I would try to limit the amount of 'the' per paragraph, just to avoid too much repetition. ...

    May 30, 2015
  • Novel / Chapter » Science Fiction, Action / Adventure Re: DUET :Chapter 1:

    Really enjoyed reading the story line. The story was engaging, and well written. Try limiting the adverbs, and maybe develop more of a description which enables sensory language. You dialogue ...

    May 30, 2015


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