windrattlestheblinds

Thanks! (And thanks for catching that typo, I dunno how that one even happened xD) I pronounce it Slid-gigt, with both i's short as in "fig." And yep! Next chapter ...

Thanks for reviewing! (Answering stuff from p1's review here as well for convenience's sake) Percy's mainly thinking that 1. letting Madder go off on her own is essentially a death ...

*distant sounds of cackling* kill her off? nope. Madder gets run through the mill... multiple times... that's all. there is no death in her future. none. whatsoever. 8D as to ...

Hi! Thanks for the review(s). I am confused about the comma thing, though. All of the examples you pulled out were independent clause independent clause, i.e. something that needs a ...

Thanks! Percy's short for Persephone, although that... might not end up in the narrative for a while yet. And the Red Queen is introduced in the prologue/maybe chapter one I ...

Thanks for the review! It wasn't just you. She was suddenly in her bedroom. And yes, that part was meant to be /extremely/ disorienting and not make a whole lot ...

Thanks for reviewing! The parenthetical italics thing is established in the prologue which, again, I still have to work out what I'm going to do with it; if I do ...

nooo worries xD Thanks again!

Hi! Thanks for the review! This isn't actually the beginning of the chapter. That's here-> I divided it up because length. (There's also a... sort of prologue, sort of chapter ...

I wouldn't say it's *bad* exactly, just that its focus is divided and that weakens it considerably. If the dedication ceremony is there strictly for purposes of revealing the religion, ...

pacing can definitely be tricky. one thing that works really well for me in terms of finding a good amount of forward momentum is scripting (specifically, properly-formatted scripting). that's usually

thanks for the feedback! this is a prologue instead of a chapter mainly because it takes place seven months before the arc of the main plot begins, and there aren't ...

No problem. :) I have that issue too sometimes, heh. Drop me a line when you post more of this, if you want.

Take the conversation with Eric, for example. His argument could be made so much more stronger and personal instead of just vague wariness and suspicion and phrases that are very, ...

...You know, I think we might actually be sort of on the same page, but talking past each other because we're using the same words to mean different things. I'll ...