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unicorn8672

  • Short Story » General, Action / Adventure Re: Fire!

    I really liked your story. I wonder if you could have broken your story up into paragraphs instead of one huge paragraph. I wonder if you could have shortened you ...

    Mar 15, 2016
  • Short Story » General, General Re: MY China story

    I don't understand why you just started with the the word "farm". I wonder if you could have used more dialog. The story sort of seems like diary entries. I ...

    Mar 15, 2016
  • Short Story » Historical Fiction, General Re: Adventure to Imperial China

    I really liked the the time travel element in your story. I wonder if you could have used Ezra's name a little less. I wonder if you could have had ...

    Mar 15, 2016
  • Short Story » Historical Fiction, Dramatic Re: Schooled- Jiàoyù de- 教育的

    I really liked the format of a diary. I wonder if you could have made less spelling and capitalization errors. I liked how you wrote the day in English and ...

    Mar 15, 2016


I wonder if people felt the freedom in our culture to love louder, if they'd be quicker to say "I miss you" when the absence of someone is felt instead of just thinking it.
— soundofmind