ultraviolet

No, it is not my fault for taking so long to get to this; it is your fault for posting so close to NaNoWriMo. Shame, Waiting, just shame. Anywho... So, ...

Okay, so for such a short piece, this is actually very well written. But the subject isn't really flash fiction material. Right now, it has little point. There's no lesson, ...

Hey. So, first off, spell check, gotta love it. I suggest you check it out. You aren't too bad in here, but this is a short piece and already you ...

Gunslinger . . . Guns linger . . . Guns are ghosts that linger. Ghosts of war, ghosts of hatred, ghosts of death. I fired guns for many years. I ...

I thought it was right , You're rhyming "right" with "right" in a non-rhyming poem. Change one of the lines. but it closes before I get there, This has too ...

Hi! There are two parts in here that are very tell-y, if you get what I mean. And then, a stab, right to the gut. I want you to elaborate ...

Fly fast and true, O son of mine, The sky is far from you limit. "Your limits," perhaps is what you meant to write? That's the only nitpick I found. ...

Oh, sweet, glorious nitpicks, how you jump out at me! Between coughs and rounds of vomiting, Could just be me, but I think it would go smoother if you said, ...

Nitty picks away! (Ironically, they're both in the same paragraph. xD ) He wore a blue striped shirt that was two sizes too small, because his fat tummy hung out ...

Hi! Okay, so like Elinor said, the pacing's a little whacked. I think my biggest problem with this is the way you transition from her angry temper when being locked ...

Hi! So, like Snoink said, this could use a little more fleshing out. Adding some more descriptive and thought-based meat to these bones will help a lot with pacing and ...

Hi! to get so soaked, my bones become waterlogged. Do either "to get so soaked that my bones become waterlogged," or "to get so soaked, to have my bones become ...

Hey! So, what I noticed most about this was the lack of description. For starters, when you brought out her friends. We didn't get any information - physical, personal - ...

Hi! The next morning, the child ' s family woke to an empty bed. Add this apostrophe. After several hours of searching, T he father of the girl made a ...

Hi, ultraviolet here.