teo

Awesome. I thought this had an excellent flow. Reading it through the eyes of seventh grader is refreshing,delightful,and genuine. Well done, I hope to read more current works of yours ...

Hello Choma, I appreciate your criticism! I added a couple edits, I agree with the excessive 'however' but is more appropriate. I am not going for anything profound, which is ...

I think you told the story very well. I like the theme and you ended it perfectly. Good job, keep writing! Ohh and haha! Our state is bigger than "yall's"

hi, i enjoyed reading this. I really like the minimalistic style you chose. I think it all flows very well, well done.

I like. Very nice, maybe because i can relate. weell done

hahah, dually noted. i think it serves better as a second chapter\

For you Critiq: Update, I think It reads a lot better. Whats the general consensus of foot notes? Life, Death, and Politics "Did you kill the boy?" a gruff voice ...

Thank you so much for this review! I couldn't agree more on your critiques :) Hi Teo! I think your explanation of scientific terms between the story is distarcting. I ...

blurp bloop blop . don't stop.dancing. :elephant: I am open to more opinions, good or bad let me hear. I am curious where I could use improvement.

Bravo, Bravo

Critiq I appreciate you taking the time to read and critic my story! I was feeling that the speech alone wouldn't be understandable out of context of the story of ...

Thank you, thank you Teddy! I am glad you enjoyed it. :) Jayleigh I appreciate your expertise! I will definitely mock up a new and corrected version. I always want ...

I really enjoyed this read. You have a unique and descriptive style that I think works well with this story. I don't have any criticism, well done!

Hi fishr, thanks for the comment, i appreciate it :) I know there isnt much of a plot behind this paragraph, I think of it as an preintro introduction. I ...

Thats great, great voice. I loved it.