taylawritesbooks

i enjoyed the sort of twist at the end, when it wasnt the cat :) and the lack of description could be good and could be bad. in shorter stories ...

good story, it was mezmorising, i love the rain :) but a few sentences were a little long, maybe think about shortening them or making them two seperate sentences :) ...

really good descriptive writing :) although the use of the name billy over and over again is very repetitive, maybe you could change some of the billys to 'him' or ...

you have a really good vocabulary, im jealous haha the sort of twist at the end, like the way you died and stuff was really good. like you draw the ...

wow, that was really good :) the depth of description was amazing, felt like i was there. you had some good ideas like carving honour into his head, and the ...

It's good for a first chapter :) I like the metaphors you used, they were very 'lovey dovey' haha :) Bring on chapter 2!

The way its written is good :) But I think the story needs to be developed a little more. For example, why are they separating? Other than that, I think ...