tRiCk

Hello! Trick here :D 1) "beam of light entered [my] darkened world. The black birds scattered and gracefully [flew] away with their haunting mocking caws echoing in my ears." 2) ...

1] Couple of spelling mistakes at the beginning: "stack of (lbrary) books in her arms fell in the (dorection) of her son..." 2] "She noticed a (mischievous) glint in his ...

1] "even more so now that he was so close." ^ try omitting the first "so" ex: "even more now that he was so close" 2] "He felt more (than) ...

Great beginning, hopefully youll have more for me to read soon. Dystopian society books are one of my favorite genre to read. My favorite book in that genre is Anthem ...

Oh, I see why the dog seems so vicious. Thanks for continuing the story. When I read the story's beginning I was curious and had questions but now you've answered ...

Hello, tRiCk here. Great story and thanks for sharing it. There was only one thing I would have changed. I walked into my apartment and sank into my sofa. My ...

CHAPTER 1 (KNOWING) I'm Jennifer Andrews,I'm 18 years old. I live in my dad's sparrow white apartment, we ' re not actually rich as you thought we would be. So ...

This was amazing. I saw the title and was immedeatly interested. With such few words you were able to communicate so much to the reader. And even though you weren't ...

Great story. I can see your story was stripped to pieces already so the only thing I have to say is make sure you proofread several times before submitting. In ...

This story reminded me of one of those scary video games like resident evil. I have to slightly disagree with wariofart, I can see your story is the type that ...

Hello, thanks for sharing your story. There was a couple mistakes I noticed. "We ate 100% sure." Just change "ate" to "are". "... and tree on the other..." Change "tree" ...

This is a unique idea for a story. Very depressing, not like all the stories that people love with happy endings. But sometimes people need to face reality. Not everything's ...

Usually romantic fiction isn't really my thing. And I don't consider myself as a romantic. But this... can't really call it a story. This fictional piece is.... unbelievable. I read ...

First off, great title. I read it and I was: "Aww, snap!" Ha ha. Awesome. Anyway, acting my age again, this story is fantastic. Its addicting. You got MY adrenaline ...

Though short, its got me very interested. I really like your style of writing. At first, I was thinking: "Wow this is weird" but it must be you signature style. ...