sokool15

Good, good! yet again. Just a couple of typos, but nothing major. Your dialogue flowed well and your narrative was very interesting! A good chapter once again. Before he could ...

Ooooh! I liked this! Great job, once again. I think there were just a couple of little typos and stuff, but nothing you couldn't catch yourself. When they're passing notes ...

Goodness! That was unexpected. I thought you said you had a way to kill him? or is that not who you were talking about. Anyway, nice chapter. I like the ...

Yay, Vathen! Yay, the gamers! Yay, allies! Hee hee...are you getting tired of the word 'yay' ? Anyway, I only have one crit right now (besides all the grammatical and ...

Hmmm... I really liked this. It was a very good idea, because so often nowadays people concentrate on what people look like, and not what they really are like. I ...

Mmm, tasty imagery in there, my dear. I really enjoyed cast the image fairly clearly in my mind, read very smoothly and easily. I especially liked: She is what we ...

See? Greenjay likes it! You gotta keep posting! :wink: :P Yep, this was a cool part. I liked it how Derez didn't kill gives us good insights into his character. ...

That was sweet! Short, but sweet. They are rolling together on the rug, now they are dragging balloons and toys the size of themselves across the room, now climbing up ...

I agree with what the others said about expanding on the scenery and descriptions. Let us get to know the character, visualize the place in our mind. It will capture ...

ROFL!!! Literally tears in my eyes. My family thinks I have gone crazy, because I am laughing so hard. That was HILARIOUS!!! Congrats on hilariousness. I loved it. Nothing wrong ...

Yes, I agree with what previous critiquer said. It's a little sudden. Although the entire screaming part was very good, I must say, you should work into and out of ...

OH, goodness...you are an excellent writer. Almost faultless, and the others caught the faults. Your writing style was very easy to read, and flowed incredibly smoothly. Your dialogue was very ...

What Squallz said. :) Yes, I agree with all that Squallz said above, good critiques, there. Um...yeah. Not much else to say except good job! ~Me 8) P.S. Still haven't ...

I saw some stuff at the very beginning, so I'm just going to critique as I go along...forgive anything i say that doesn't make sense. cried a three year old ...

Oh, yes, I liked this very much! Very well done, your writing always, smooth, fluent and, adopting the manner of the french, I give you smacking kiss on the cheek ...