snoopysoap

yeah thanks Teardrop, i started writting this a while ago and my gramma and punctuation is was terrible, but rest assured it is way better now, i haven't been writting ...

yeah sorry about the repeat, i must have done it twice O.o accidents happen though. yay reviews! feeel free to be as harsh as you want, critisism is welcome

hey thanks guys, i find that whne i write stuff like this it seems better to be just one big block of text then spaced out becauuse i fell that ...

thanks guys... i'll try to fix it...don't know what i'm going to do with that line though O.o i'll figure something out eventually

yeah...its acctually al lone chapter, i just didn't want to put all of chapter one in otherwise it would take FOREVER!

thanks megsug...yeah u can review the other ones if you want

thanks kaka...where should i put it then? short stories perhaps? hey we all get yelled at some point when we are in our zone or having fun :p

i love it...very descriptive, although you have a few typos... u spelt thigh thy...thigh as in leg? yeah XD just pointing that out :p

yeah i wasn't to sure if this bit was to early, now as you were saying, half-siblings don really have sex and stuff but remember they aren't related they are ...

thanks Lauren, i have this problem with commas my dad says everytime he reads something of mine, 'you have an attack of the commas did you?' it's because my pinking ...

this is really good though you have some typos and you just need to fix them up, but apart from those few little bits and pieces its really good...i want ...

thanks i will try to keep these things in mind and i will fix it up as soon as possible :thud: