smorgishborg

Based on Kylan's fantastic comments, I've posted a revised addition. I'm not so sure it addresses everything he mentioned, so I'd like to get some feedback on what I still ...

Gadi, you're too much a poet. which made the car skid crosswise the pavement—it rained the night before (when Mary was still alive) and the asphalt was smitten with puddles. ...

Thanks so much for the critiques! - I wonder, rereading some of the responses if some people didn't pick up on this ? Gahks, I added the dash because Dickinson ...

Lil_Pau, I find it hard to disagree With any limerick I see And while your attempt is commendable It is slightly reprehensible That it ends so violently

Reko Black, You have a right to ignore your critiques, but you do so at your peril. This website is remarkable for the plethora of honest and accurate critiques available ...

Indeed! Significantly improved!But not perfect. First, I saw two instances of you not capitalizing the name of a character when they deliver a line. Worst case of this was in ...

Hehe. Plots don't happen overnight! Well, maybe this one did. You know what? I felt more comfortable with your earlier dialogue. I think you were more at home with the ...

I'm going back and following up on the poem and the script. Thanks for all the critiques! Kitty: I went back and added commas where I thought there'd be a ...

I thought I'd follow through with a second post on this, since I've gotten a couple things I wanted to touch upon. The first is that I apologize for not ...

^ This deserved, I think, that bump of sorts. ^ I love this, it's the most well crafted piece of poetry I've yet to see on these forums. It's fantastic, ...

thething912, One of the most cruical things that if wrong with this play is your methodology. You seem to be trying to write a flawless draft every time. You say ...

I've said this many times - just because a poem or song may not make sense or the reader cannot decipher the meaning doesn't make it a bad poem. Sometimes ...