smaur

Welcome to YWS! Like Mars said, there's a 2:1 review ratio here. Spread the love! Review other people's works and put yourself out there. The other thing is, and this ...

So here goes: Know your commas! You use commas sometimes where they shouldn't be and omit them when they are needed. So, quick review: commas are pretty much the syntax-equivalent ...

Okay. So a couple of things. First up, there's a 2:1 review ratio at YWS and it's generally recommended that before you start posting your stuff, you go around some ...

Hey! So I like this. You're not quite doing anything new with the post-apocalyptic science fiction cliche but I am assuming that this is the first chapter and that you'll ...

Hey! So I like your writing and I am especially a fan of your first and last lines but there's a lot of pretty basic clean-up that you might want ...

Just a few things: - Mentioning that you wrote this "out of boredom" is pretty much the easiest way to push people away as reviewers because it kind of implies ...

Apologies for the epic delay in critiquing. I'm here now! A couple of things: - Just out of curiosity, why did you post only the first page? I'm asking because ...

Okay, I'm here. A gazillion years late. I actually enjoyed the sparseness (er, minimalism) of the piece; I thought it worked well for the story you were telling. In a ...

Okay, wracking my ever-failing memory for YA novels that I enjoyed as a teen: Scott Westerfeld's "Uglies" series is easy to breeze through — it's fun awesome sci-fi that is ...

The idea of doing a mecha-themed story is awesome, but you get bogged down a lot. You mentioned that the length might be a deterrent, and it kind of is; ...

I was kind of hesitant to write a review for this (that is, before you posted on my critique list) because, well, I tend to get pretty in-depth with critiquing. ...

Apologies for the belated review; I've had a lot of crap on my plate lately. (Er. Only not literally.) Your other reviewers seem to have covered a lot of ground; ...

Dahlia >> I don't think people are sad/concerned that others dislike classics. If anything, that's kind of inevitable with any group of people. I think it's problematic though that people ...

Hey! I'm here, finally. So I like this. Or at least, I like what you're trying to do with this piece. I haven't read anything by you in a bit, ...

Hey! I'm here, critiquing as requested. You asked me to point out any questions that I might have throughout the story, but honestly, I don't think I have any yet. ...