shadowseon

Very interesting premise - I quite like what you did with the 12 magicians rising to power, especially using the humans that got their memories wiped. Now, the thing about ...

This is a very interesting start. I definitely would like to see more, although if Ariel is your protagonist I suggest throwing in some redeeming characteristics real quick. X) Flawed/mean ...

Your language is lovely and really evocative. However, in order to increase its effectiveness I'd sprinkle it more sparingly - the flowery prose is beautiful especially in the beginning, but ...