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redrudderhouse

  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: I am the Apple

    Haha! Love it. Shows us that you don't need big words and long statments to come up with a very meaningful poem. The images are crisp and clear--you can almost ...

    Mar 2, 2011
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Agápe

    This poem is very, very promising. I’m careless now: I tilt to kiss your lips, - what is "I'm careless now" for? Though mine are pale and dry like riverbeds ...

    Oct 26, 2010
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Clusters of Seashells

    There are a couple parts I think need fixing... Let me know what you think! He smiles, teasing, albeit flushed, the corner of his mouth twitching, afraid he might be ...

    Oct 26, 2010
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Graffiti Eternal

    Hi Coral! I love how you're always indirect in your poems. This one had me thinking. My 2 cents: Version 2 Graffiti stamped walls - should be hyphenated sent love ...

    Oct 23, 2010
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: The Smile

    You followed the Shakesperean sonnet rhyme scheme, rhythm, and meter. There are times when the iambic pentameter is a bit off (lines 2 and 4, etc.) but I suppose that's ...

    Oct 23, 2010
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: ...

    I'm sorry if this is a bit harsh, but I mean well. This is an online workshop after all. I agree with carbonCore. The imagery in the first stanza was ...

    Oct 23, 2010
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: At the Louvre

    At the Louvre He curls over my body and inspects my sin. Oh baby don’t worry, I can fix you. When we cut off your arms, you can be Venus ...

    Oct 22, 2010
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Elephant in the Sky

    So this is actually kind of a personal memory- something I VERY rarely write. But here it is- I dunno if it fully makes sense to other people though. Well ...

    Oct 22, 2010


When a body moves, it's the most revealing thing. Dance for me a minute, and I'll tell you who you are.
— Mikhail Baryshnikov