pla303

Interesting concept. I really do like the way it flits around, though it makes some of it hard to understand. You also have some grammatical errors. So: Can you really ...

Wow. Very well written. I didn't find any fundamental problems with your grammar or narration, though you might want to edit the little bits of dialogue/bits that are italicized that ...

"Someday, you will look back and know exactly why it had to happen," Hmm, the mysterious opener definitely has an effect, but I think it's a bit cheesy as vague ...

One thing about this film, is that it is much more adult. This is kind of weak wording. Up until this point it's pretty active, and then you get to ...

My eyes fluttered open as I felt random aches in my back, and I stretched my body out. Alright, so right here in the first bit, you've got a bit ...

My head was throbbing from listening to Mr. Drexel’s speech this morning about how Thailand was recently hit by an earthquake, I would rephrase this as: "My head was throbbing ...

Wow. Really provocative. I love your plot line, though you have a lot of grammatical errors. Our life was hard, our dad left when I was two, Filomena was ten. ...

Wow, this is great! I love your imagery and your metaphors. However one semantical thing I'd like it criticize is your use of the semicolon. They're great, but in a ...

Hiya! It's great considering that English isn't your first language. One thing I would STRONGLY recommend if you want to survive around here is to capitalize the beginnings of sentences ...

Francis Charles Goodeston, foolish name I know, Needs a comma right before "I know" Other than that, grammatically sound. The only suggestion I would make is to put more of ...

i KNOW IN MY HEART that EVERYTHING IS AS IS because there are reasons Should be: I KNOW IN MY HEART that EVERYTHING IS AS IS because there are reasons ...

felt like an earthquake : ”In the end we all must go” Felt like an earthquake to whom? You might want to just make it so that the words were ...

Hiya! I really like this piece, it's nice and circular and brings you back to the beginning. I like your short syntax, but sometimes this makes you grammatically incorrect. For ...

Wow, I love this. You've got nice little segways into the flashbacks. Just a couple things, though: Music, if there was one thing I couldn't live without, it would be ...

. I leaned over her face and kissed her cold lips. Such a peaceful look in her eyes. I laid my fingers over her eyelids and drew them tight so ...