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Re: Syboleth ch. 1: A New Friend
I figure it's time to start at the beginning :') The narrator... kind of sucks? This utilizes a direct address to a "reader of the 2020s." This is very classic ...
Mar 6 -
Re: Syboleth ch. 20: A Different Preset
WHY HELLO AET :0 “Smoking again,” he said, not as a question but as a calm and disappointed statement. “Of course,” she said dismissively, despite knowing he could still to ...
Mar 4 -
Re: Syboleth ch. 17: Royalty
Woot woot! Next chapter! I'm glad to see Keira further developed as a person here. Her habits and thought patterns are rendered more fully in this chapter than the previous ...
Jan 11 -
Re: Syboleth ch. 15: To Life
I'm baaaaack! After reading your PM, I'm glad I have a little more context (especially now that I can agree Pet Sounds is better than Sgt. Pepper ;)) This chapter ...
Dec 30, 2025 -
Re: Syboleth ch. 13: The Meaning of Life
Then, around the middle of the third decade of the new millennium, they cracked it. Not artificial general intelligence, mind you, but true artificial intelligence all the same. Right into ...
Dec 29, 2025 -
Re: Aaron's Christmas: Part One
What a perfect timing! :0 Christmas was one of Aaron’s favorite holidays. Despite usually triggering a bad flare of his condition from the overstimulation and stress of the holidays, he ...
Dec 27, 2025 -
Re: God Save The Winchester Women
This is a very strong start to a character-driven narrative! Perfection. The common love to say it doesn’t exist. The extraordinary know that perfection is infinity. I love how this ...
Jul 6, 2025 -
Re: Unfinished writings
Three-in-one?! Consider me intrigued! :0 Those damn yellow walls. For Yellow Walls, I think you're biting off of a very common trope. It's reminiscent of how a small detail, like ...
Jul 6, 2025 -
Re: The Remorse Dissolver
This story reminds me of a lot of classic speculative fiction I've read before like The Monkey’s Paw or The Jaunt. Though, it's with its own lore and specificity. That's ...
Jul 4, 2025 -
Re: Fury in the Wind chp. 3 - All the Djoni horses, all the Wsiwan men
Yippee! From the first paragraph, I know who Devlin is. I think you have a strong control of your characters. There’s great tension between duty and doubt, between being prepared ...
Jun 30, 2025 -
Re: Chapter Two: Welcome to Nowhere
More Nova! Yay! You’ve really leaned into mood here, and it works. Uncle Max’s house isn’t just a location to me. It feels alive, like I am in Nova's shoes. ...
Jun 29, 2025 -
Re: Chapter One: Rule Number One: Don't Hack Your School Network. Or If You Do, Don't Get Caught.
Nova is so alive! She feels like a teenage girl. Her voice is sardonic, intelligent, emotionally guarded, and that’s such a tough line to walk! You let her be clever ...
Jun 29, 2025 -
Re: The Transition: From School-going Children to College-going Adults
A very relevant topic for an essay! The first thing that caught my eye is you’ve done a great job of using extended metaphors to communicate the emotional significance of ...
Jun 29, 2025 -
Re: Where Secrets Hide] Chapter 1
There’s so much care in this draft, and I can tell you put effort. The emotional intelligence of it is masterful. You’re telling a story about what it means to ...
Jun 29, 2025 -
Re: The legend of the E.X.E - CHAPTER 1 (remake)
This story goes from a dusty hallway to magical armor so fast, but the pacing works because Milo never stops moving. You don’t overstay any one scene. Even his moments ...
Jun 28, 2025
