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Re: The Magic In Me: A New Life Chapter 1
The first thing I noticed is your sentences are fairly awkward. I would read this out loud to yourself and listen. When something doesn't sound right change it. "They don’t ...
Apr 28, 2013 -
Re: Chapter two: Blinding Whiteness
"I stumbled a little with the not being able to see and Parker caught me before I could fall." I don't think this sentence needs the "the" in it. I ...
Apr 28, 2013
